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Loves Labour Lost

 FERDINAND	king of Navarre.
 LONGAVILLE	|  lords attending on the King.
 	|  lords attending on the Princess of France.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	a fantastical Spaniard.
 SIR NATHANIEL	a curate.
 HOLOFERNES	a schoolmaster.
 DULL	a constable.
 COSTARD	a clown.
 MOTH	page to Armado.
 	A Forester.
 	The PRINCESS of France: (PRINCESS:)
 MARIA	|  ladies attending on the Princess.
 JAQUENETTA	a country wench.
 	Lords, Attendants, &c.
 	(First Lord:)
 SCENE	Navarre.
 SCENE I	The king of Navarre's park.
 	[Enter FERDINAND king of Navarre, BIRON, LONGAVILLE
 	and DUMAIN]
 FERDINAND	Let fame, that all hunt after in their lives,
 	Live register'd upon our brazen tombs
 	And then grace us in the disgrace of death;
 	When, spite of cormorant devouring Time,
 	The endeavor of this present breath may buy
 	That honour which shall bate his scythe's keen edge
 	And make us heirs of all eternity.
 	Therefore, brave conquerors,--for so you are,
 	That war against your own affections
 	And the huge army of the world's desires,--
 	Our late edict shall strongly stand in force:
 	Navarre shall be the wonder of the world;
 	Our court shall be a little Academe,
 	Still and contemplative in living art.
 	You three, Biron, Dumain, and Longaville,
 	Have sworn for three years' term to live with me
 	My fellow-scholars, and to keep those statutes
 	That are recorded in this schedule here:
 	Your oaths are pass'd; and now subscribe your names,
 	That his own hand may strike his honour down
 	That violates the smallest branch herein:
 	If you are arm'd to do as sworn to do,
 	Subscribe to your deep oaths, and keep it too.
 LONGAVILLE	I am resolved; 'tis but a three years' fast:
 	The mind shall banquet, though the body pine:
 	Fat paunches have lean pates, and dainty bits
 	Make rich the ribs, but bankrupt quite the wits.
 DUMAIN	My loving lord, Dumain is mortified:
 	The grosser manner of these world's delights
 	He throws upon the gross world's baser slaves:
 	To love, to wealth, to pomp, I pine and die;
 	With all these living in philosophy.
 BIRON	I can but say their protestation over;
 	So much, dear liege, I have already sworn,
 	That is, to live and study here three years.
 	But there are other strict observances;
 	As, not to see a woman in that term,
 	Which I hope well is not enrolled there;
 	And one day in a week to touch no food
 	And but one meal on every day beside,
 	The which I hope is not enrolled there;
 	And then, to sleep but three hours in the night,
 	And not be seen to wink of all the day--
 	When I was wont to think no harm all night
 	And make a dark night too of half the day--
 	Which I hope well is not enrolled there:
 	O, these are barren tasks, too hard to keep,
 	Not to see ladies, study, fast, not sleep!
 FERDINAND	Your oath is pass'd to pass away from these.
 BIRON	Let me say no, my liege, an if you please:
 	I only swore to study with your grace
 	And stay here in your court for three years' space.
 LONGAVILLE	You swore to that, Biron, and to the rest.
 BIRON	By yea and nay, sir, then I swore in jest.
 	What is the end of study? let me know.
 FERDINAND	Why, that to know, which else we should not know.
 BIRON	Things hid and barr'd, you mean, from common sense?
 FERDINAND	Ay, that is study's godlike recompense.
 BIRON	Come on, then; I will swear to study so,
 	To know the thing I am forbid to know:
 	As thus,--to study where I well may dine,
 	When I to feast expressly am forbid;
 	Or study where to meet some mistress fine,
 	When mistresses from common sense are hid;
 	Or, having sworn too hard a keeping oath,
 	Study to break it and not break my troth.
 	If study's gain be thus and this be so,
 	Study knows that which yet it doth not know:
 	Swear me to this, and I will ne'er say no.
 FERDINAND	These be the stops that hinder study quite
 	And train our intellects to vain delight.
 BIRON	Why, all delights are vain; but that most vain,
 	Which with pain purchased doth inherit pain:
 	As, painfully to pore upon a book
 	To seek the light of truth; while truth the while
 	Doth falsely blind the eyesight of his look:
 	Light seeking light doth light of light beguile:
 	So, ere you find where light in darkness lies,
 	Your light grows dark by losing of your eyes.
 	Study me how to please the eye indeed
 	By fixing it upon a fairer eye,
 	Who dazzling so, that eye shall be his heed
 	And give him light that it was blinded by.
 	Study is like the heaven's glorious sun
 	That will not be deep-search'd with saucy looks:
 	Small have continual plodders ever won
 	Save base authority from others' books
 	These earthly godfathers of heaven's lights
 	That give a name to every fixed star
 	Have no more profit of their shining nights
 	Than those that walk and wot not what they are.
 	Too much to know is to know nought but fame;
 	And every godfather can give a name.
 FERDINAND	How well he's read, to reason against reading!
 DUMAIN	Proceeded well, to stop all good proceeding!
 LONGAVILLE	He weeds the corn and still lets grow the weeding.
 BIRON	The spring is near when green geese are a-breeding.
 DUMAIN	How follows that?
 BIRON	                  Fit in his place and time.
 DUMAIN	In reason nothing.
 BIRON	                  Something then in rhyme.
 FERDINAND	Biron is like an envious sneaping frost,
 	That bites the first-born infants of the spring.
 BIRON	Well, say I am; why should proud summer boast
 	Before the birds have any cause to sing?
 	Why should I joy in any abortive birth?
 	At Christmas I no more desire a rose
 	Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled mirth;
 	But like of each thing that in season grows.
 	So you, to study now it is too late,
 	Climb o'er the house to unlock the little gate.
 FERDINAND	Well, sit you out: go home, Biron: adieu.
 BIRON	No, my good lord; I have sworn to stay with you:
 	And though I have for barbarism spoke more
 	Than for that angel knowledge you can say,
 	Yet confident I'll keep what I have swore
 	And bide the penance of each three years' day.
 	Give me the paper; let me read the same;
 	And to the strict'st decrees I'll write my name.
 FERDINAND	How well this yielding rescues thee from shame!
 BIRON	[Reads]  'Item, That no woman shall come within a
 	mile of my court:' Hath this been proclaimed?
 LONGAVILLE	Four days ago.
 BIRON	Let's see the penalty.
 	'On pain of losing her tongue.' Who devised this penalty?
 LONGAVILLE	Marry, that did I.
 BIRON	Sweet lord, and why?
 LONGAVILLE	To fright them hence with that dread penalty.
 BIRON	A dangerous law against gentility!
 	'Item, If any man be seen to talk with a woman
 	within the term of three years, he shall endure such
 	public shame as the rest of the court can possibly devise.'
 	This article, my liege, yourself must break;
 	For well you know here comes in embassy
 	The French king's daughter with yourself to speak--
 	A maid of grace and complete majesty--
 	About surrender up of Aquitaine
 	To her decrepit, sick and bedrid father:
 	Therefore this article is made in vain,
 	Or vainly comes the admired princess hither.
 FERDINAND	What say you, lords? Why, this was quite forgot.
 BIRON	So study evermore is overshot:
 	While it doth study to have what it would
 	It doth forget to do the thing it should,
 	And when it hath the thing it hunteth most,
 	'Tis won as towns with fire, so won, so lost.
 FERDINAND	We must of force dispense with this decree;
 	She must lie here on mere necessity.
 BIRON	Necessity will make us all forsworn
 	Three thousand times within this three years' space;
 	For every man with his affects is born,
 	Not by might master'd but by special grace:
 	If I break faith, this word shall speak for me;
 	I am forsworn on 'mere necessity.'
 	So to the laws at large I write my name:
 	And he that breaks them in the least degree
 	Stands in attainder of eternal shame:
 	Suggestions are to other as to me;
 	But I believe, although I seem so loath,
 	I am the last that will last keep his oath.
 	But is there no quick recreation granted?
 FERDINAND	Ay, that there is. Our court, you know, is haunted
 	With a refined traveller of Spain;
 	A man in all the world's new fashion planted,
 	That hath a mint of phrases in his brain;
 	One whom the music of his own vain tongue
 	Doth ravish like enchanting harmony;
 	A man of complements, whom right and wrong
 	Have chose as umpire of their mutiny:
 	This child of fancy, that Armado hight,
 	For interim to our studies shall relate
 	In high-born words the worth of many a knight
 	From tawny Spain lost in the world's debate.
 	How you delight, my lords, I know not, I;
 	But, I protest, I love to hear him lie
 	And I will use him for my minstrelsy.
 BIRON	Armado is a most illustrious wight,
 	A man of fire-new words, fashion's own knight.
 LONGAVILLE	Costard the swain and he shall be our sport;
 	And so to study, three years is but short.
 	[Enter DULL with a letter, and COSTARD]
 DULL	Which is the duke's own person?
 BIRON	This, fellow: what wouldst?
 DULL	I myself reprehend his own person, for I am his
 	grace's tharborough: but I would see his own person
 	in flesh and blood.
 BIRON	This is he.
 DULL	Signior Arme--Arme--commends you. There's villany
 	abroad: this letter will tell you more.
 COSTARD	Sir, the contempts thereof are as touching me.
 FERDINAND	A letter from the magnificent Armado.
 BIRON	How low soever the matter, I hope in God for high words.
 LONGAVILLE	A high hope for a low heaven: God grant us patience!
 BIRON	To hear? or forbear laughing?
 LONGAVILLE	To hear meekly, sir, and to laugh moderately; or to
 	forbear both.
 BIRON	Well, sir, be it as the style shall give us cause to
 	climb in the merriness.
 COSTARD	The matter is to me, sir, as concerning Jaquenetta.
 	The manner of it is, I was taken with the manner.
 BIRON	In what manner?
 COSTARD	In manner and form following, sir; all those three:
 	I was seen with her in the manor-house, sitting with
 	her upon the form, and taken following her into the
 	park; which, put together, is in manner and form
 	following. Now, sir, for the manner,--it is the
 	manner of a man to speak to a woman: for the form,--
 	in some form.
 BIRON	For the following, sir?
 COSTARD	As it shall follow in my correction: and God defend
 	the right!
 FERDINAND	Will you hear this letter with attention?
 BIRON	As we would hear an oracle.
 COSTARD	Such is the simplicity of man to hearken after the flesh.
 FERDINAND	[Reads]  'Great deputy, the welkin's vicegerent and
 	sole dominator of Navarre, my soul's earth's god,
 	and body's fostering patron.'
 COSTARD	Not a word of Costard yet.
 FERDINAND	[Reads]  'So it is,'--
 COSTARD	It may be so: but if he say it is so, he is, in
 	telling true, but so.
 COSTARD	Be to me and every man that dares not fight!
 FERDINAND	No words!
 COSTARD	Of other men's secrets, I beseech you.
 FERDINAND	[Reads]  'So it is, besieged with sable-coloured
 	melancholy, I did commend the black-oppressing humour
 	to the most wholesome physic of thy health-giving
 	air; and, as I am a gentleman, betook myself to
 	walk. The time when. About the sixth hour; when
 	beasts most graze, birds best peck, and men sit down
 	to that nourishment which is called supper: so much
 	for the time when. Now for the ground which; which,
 	I mean, I walked upon: it is y-cleped thy park. Then
 	for the place where; where, I mean, I did encounter
 	that obscene and preposterous event, that draweth
 	from my snow-white pen the ebon-coloured ink, which
 	here thou viewest, beholdest, surveyest, or seest;
 	but to the place where; it standeth north-north-east
 	and by east from the west corner of thy curious-
 	knotted garden: there did I see that low-spirited
 	swain, that base minnow of thy mirth,'--
 FERDINAND	[Reads]  'that unlettered small-knowing soul,'--
 FERDINAND	[Reads]  'that shallow vassal,'--
 COSTARD	Still me?
 FERDINAND	[Reads]  'which, as I remember, hight Costard,'--
 FERDINAND	[Reads]  'sorted and consorted, contrary to thy
 	established proclaimed edict and continent canon,
 	which with,--O, with--but with this I passion to say
 COSTARD	With a wench.
 FERDINAND	[Reads]  'with a child of our grandmother Eve, a
 	female; or, for thy more sweet understanding, a
 	woman. Him I, as my ever-esteemed duty pricks me on,
 	have sent to thee, to receive the meed of
 	punishment, by thy sweet grace's officer, Anthony
 	Dull; a man of good repute, carriage, bearing, and
 DULL	'Me, an't shall please you; I am Anthony Dull.
 FERDINAND	[Reads]  'For Jaquenetta,--so is the weaker vessel
 	called which I apprehended with the aforesaid
 	swain,--I keep her as a vessel of the law's fury;
 	and shall, at the least of thy sweet notice, bring
 	her to trial. Thine, in all compliments of devoted
 	and heart-burning heat of duty.
 BIRON	This is not so well as I looked for, but the best
 	that ever I heard.
 FERDINAND	Ay, the best for the worst. But, sirrah, what say
 	you to this?
 COSTARD	Sir, I confess the wench.
 FERDINAND	Did you hear the proclamation?
 COSTARD	I do confess much of the hearing it but little of
 	the marking of it.
 FERDINAND	It was proclaimed a year's imprisonment, to be taken
 	with a wench.
 COSTARD	I was taken with none, sir: I was taken with a damsel.
 FERDINAND	Well, it was proclaimed 'damsel.'
 COSTARD	This was no damsel, neither, sir; she was a virgin.
 FERDINAND	It is so varied, too; for it was proclaimed 'virgin.'
 COSTARD	If it were, I deny her virginity: I was taken with a maid.
 FERDINAND	This maid will not serve your turn, sir.
 COSTARD	This maid will serve my turn, sir.
 FERDINAND	Sir, I will pronounce your sentence: you shall fast
 	a week with bran and water.
 COSTARD	I had rather pray a month with mutton and porridge.
 FERDINAND	And Don Armado shall be your keeper.
 	My Lord Biron, see him deliver'd o'er:
 	And go we, lords, to put in practise that
 	Which each to other hath so strongly sworn.
 BIRON	I'll lay my head to any good man's hat,
 	These oaths and laws will prove an idle scorn.
 	Sirrah, come on.
 COSTARD	I suffer for the truth, sir; for true it is, I was
 	taken with Jaquenetta, and Jaquenetta is a true
 	girl; and therefore welcome the sour cup of
 	prosperity! Affliction may one day smile again; and
 	till then, sit thee down, sorrow!
 SCENE II	The same.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit
 	grows melancholy?
 MOTH	A great sign, sir, that he will look sad.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Why, sadness is one and the self-same thing, dear imp.
 MOTH	No, no; O Lord, sir, no.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	How canst thou part sadness and melancholy, my
 	tender juvenal?
 MOTH	By a familiar demonstration of the working, my tough senior.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Why tough senior? why tough senior?
 MOTH	Why tender juvenal? why tender juvenal?
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent epitheton
 	appertaining to thy young days, which we may
 	nominate tender.
 MOTH	And I, tough senior, as an appertinent title to your
 	old time, which we may name tough.
 ARMADO	Pretty and apt.
 MOTH	How mean you, sir? I pretty, and my saying apt? or
 	I apt, and my saying pretty?
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Thou pretty, because little.
 MOTH	Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt?
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	And therefore apt, because quick.
 MOTH	Speak you this in my praise, master?
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	In thy condign praise.
 MOTH	I will praise an eel with the same praise.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	What, that an eel is ingenious?
 MOTH	That an eel is quick.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I do say thou art quick in answers: thou heatest my blood.
 MOTH	I am answered, sir.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I love not to be crossed.
 MOTH	[Aside]  He speaks the mere contrary; crosses love not him.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I have promised to study three years with the duke.
 MOTH	You may do it in an hour, sir.
 MOTH	How many is one thrice told?
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I am ill at reckoning; it fitteth the spirit of a tapster.
 MOTH	You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I confess both: they are both the varnish of a
 	complete man.
 MOTH	Then, I am sure, you know how much the gross sum of
 	deuce-ace amounts to.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	It doth amount to one more than two.
 MOTH	Which the base vulgar do call three.
 MOTH	Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here
 	is three studied, ere ye'll thrice wink: and how
 	easy it is to put 'years' to the word 'three,' and
 	study three years in two words, the dancing horse
 	will tell you.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	A most fine figure!
 MOTH	To prove you a cipher.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I will hereupon confess I am in love: and as it is
 	base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a
 	base wench. If drawing my sword against the humour
 	of affection would deliver me from the reprobate
 	thought of it, I would take Desire prisoner, and
 	ransom him to any French courtier for a new-devised
 	courtesy. I think scorn to sigh: methinks I should
 	outswear Cupid. Comfort, me, boy: what great men
 	have been in love?
 MOTH	Hercules, master.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name
 	more; and, sweet my child, let them be men of good
 	repute and carriage.
 MOTH	Samson, master: he was a man of good carriage, great
 	carriage, for he carried the town-gates on his back
 	like a porter: and he was in love.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	O well-knit Samson! strong-jointed Samson! I do
 	excel thee in my rapier as much as thou didst me in
 	carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was Samson's
 	love, my dear Moth?
 MOTH	A woman, master.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Of what complexion?
 MOTH	Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the four.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Tell me precisely of what complexion.
 MOTH	Of the sea-water green, sir.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Is that one of the four complexions?
 MOTH	As I have read, sir; and the best of them too.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Green indeed is the colour of lovers; but to have a
 	love of that colour, methinks Samson had small reason
 	for it. He surely affected her for her wit.
 MOTH	It was so, sir; for she had a green wit.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	My love is most immaculate white and red.
 MOTH	Most maculate thoughts, master, are masked under
 	such colours.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Define, define, well-educated infant.
 MOTH	My father's wit and my mother's tongue, assist me!
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Sweet invocation of a child; most pretty and
 MOTH	     If she be made of white and red,
 	Her faults will ne'er be known,
 	For blushing cheeks by faults are bred
 	And fears by pale white shown:
 	Then if she fear, or be to blame,
 	By this you shall not know,
 	For still her cheeks possess the same
 	Which native she doth owe.
 	A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of
 	white and red.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Is there not a ballad, boy, of the King and the Beggar?
 MOTH	The world was very guilty of such a ballad some
 	three ages since: but I think now 'tis not to be
 	found; or, if it were, it would neither serve for
 	the writing nor the tune.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I will have that subject newly writ o'er, that I may
 	example my digression by some mighty precedent.
 	Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in the
 	park with the rational hind Costard: she deserves well.
 MOTH	[Aside]  To be whipped; and yet a better love than
 	my master.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Sing, boy; my spirit grows heavy in love.
 MOTH	And that's great marvel, loving a light wench.
 MOTH	Forbear till this company be past.
 DULL	Sir, the duke's pleasure is, that you keep Costard
 	safe: and you must suffer him to take no delight
 	nor no penance; but a' must fast three days a week.
 	For this damsel, I must keep her at the park: she
 	is allowed for the day-woman. Fare you well.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I do betray myself with blushing. Maid!
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I will visit thee at the lodge.
 JAQUENETTA	That's hereby.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I know where it is situate.
 JAQUENETTA	Lord, how wise you are!
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I will tell thee wonders.
 JAQUENETTA	With that face?
 JAQUENETTA	So I heard you say.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	And so, farewell.
 JAQUENETTA	Fair weather after you!
 DULL	Come, Jaquenetta, away!
 	[Exeunt DULL and JAQUENETTA]
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Villain, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou
 	be pardoned.
 COSTARD	Well, sir, I hope, when I do it, I shall do it on a
 	full stomach.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Thou shalt be heavily punished.
 COSTARD	I am more bound to you than your fellows, for they
 	are but lightly rewarded.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Take away this villain; shut him up.
 MOTH	Come, you transgressing slave; away!
 COSTARD	Let me not be pent up, sir: I will fast, being loose.
 MOTH	No, sir; that were fast and loose: thou shalt to prison.
 COSTARD	Well, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation
 	that I have seen, some shall see.
 MOTH	What shall some see?
 COSTARD	Nay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon.
 	It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their
 	words; and therefore I will say nothing: I thank
 	God I have as little patience as another man; and
 	therefore I can be quiet.
 	[Exeunt MOTH and COSTARD]
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I do affect the very ground, which is base, where
 	her shoe, which is baser, guided by her foot, which
 	is basest, doth tread. I shall be forsworn, which
 	is a great argument of falsehood, if I love. And
 	how can that be true love which is falsely
 	attempted? Love is a familiar; Love is a devil:
 	there is no evil angel but Love. Yet was Samson so
 	tempted, and he had an excellent strength; yet was
 	Solomon so seduced, and he had a very good wit.
 	Cupid's butt-shaft is too hard for Hercules' club;
 	and therefore too much odds for a Spaniard's rapier.
 	The first and second cause will not serve my turn;
 	the passado he respects not, the duello he regards
 	not: his disgrace is to be called boy; but his
 	glory is to subdue men. Adieu, valour! rust rapier!
 	be still, drum! for your manager is in love; yea,
 	he loveth. Assist me, some extemporal god of rhyme,
 	for I am sure I shall turn sonnet. Devise, wit;
 	write, pen; for I am for whole volumes in folio.
 SCENE I	The same.
 	[Enter the PRINCESS of France, ROSALINE, MARIA,
 	KATHARINE, BOYET, Lords, and other Attendants]
 BOYET	Now, madam, summon up your dearest spirits:
 	Consider who the king your father sends,
 	To whom he sends, and what's his embassy:
 	Yourself, held precious in the world's esteem,
 	To parley with the sole inheritor
 	Of all perfections that a man may owe,
 	Matchless Navarre; the plea of no less weight
 	Than Aquitaine, a dowry for a queen.
 	Be now as prodigal of all dear grace
 	As Nature was in making graces dear
 	When she did starve the general world beside
 	And prodigally gave them all to you.
 PRINCESS	Good Lord Boyet, my beauty, though but mean,
 	Needs not the painted flourish of your praise:
 	Beauty is bought by judgement of the eye,
 	Not utter'd by base sale of chapmen's tongues:
 	I am less proud to hear you tell my worth
 	Than you much willing to be counted wise
 	In spending your wit in the praise of mine.
 	But now to task the tasker: good Boyet,
 	You are not ignorant, all-telling fame
 	Doth noise abroad, Navarre hath made a vow,
 	Till painful study shall outwear three years,
 	No woman may approach his silent court:
 	Therefore to's seemeth it a needful course,
 	Before we enter his forbidden gates,
 	To know his pleasure; and in that behalf,
 	Bold of your worthiness, we single you
 	As our best-moving fair solicitor.
 	Tell him, the daughter of the King of France,
 	On serious business, craving quick dispatch,
 	Importunes personal conference with his grace:
 	Haste, signify so much; while we attend,
 	Like humble-visaged suitors, his high will.
 BOYET	Proud of employment, willingly I go.
 PRINCESS	All pride is willing pride, and yours is so.
 	[Exit BOYET]
 	Who are the votaries, my loving lords,
 	That are vow-fellows with this virtuous duke?
 First Lord	Lord Longaville is one.
 PRINCESS	Know you the man?
 MARIA	I know him, madam: at a marriage-feast,
 	Between Lord Perigort and the beauteous heir
 	Of Jaques Falconbridge, solemnized
 	In Normandy, saw I this Longaville:
 	A man of sovereign parts he is esteem'd;
 	Well fitted in arts, glorious in arms:
 	Nothing becomes him ill that he would well.
 	The only soil of his fair virtue's gloss,
 	If virtue's gloss will stain with any soil,
 	Is a sharp wit matched with too blunt a will;
 	Whose edge hath power to cut, whose will still wills
 	It should none spare that come within his power.
 PRINCESS	Some merry mocking lord, belike; is't so?
 MARIA	They say so most that most his humours know.
 PRINCESS	Such short-lived wits do wither as they grow.
 	Who are the rest?
 KATHARINE	The young Dumain, a well-accomplished youth,
 	Of all that virtue love for virtue loved:
 	Most power to do most harm, least knowing ill;
 	For he hath wit to make an ill shape good,
 	And shape to win grace though he had no wit.
 	I saw him at the Duke Alencon's once;
 	And much too little of that good I saw
 	Is my report to his great worthiness.
 ROSALINE	Another of these students at that time
 	Was there with him, if I have heard a truth.
 	Biron they call him; but a merrier man,
 	Within the limit of becoming mirth,
 	I never spent an hour's talk withal:
 	His eye begets occasion for his wit;
 	For every object that the one doth catch
 	The other turns to a mirth-moving jest,
 	Which his fair tongue, conceit's expositor,
 	Delivers in such apt and gracious words
 	That aged ears play truant at his tales
 	And younger hearings are quite ravished;
 	So sweet and voluble is his discourse.
 PRINCESS	God bless my ladies! are they all in love,
 	That every one her own hath garnished
 	With such bedecking ornaments of praise?
 First Lord	Here comes Boyet.
 	[Re-enter BOYET]
 PRINCESS	Now, what admittance, lord?
 BOYET	Navarre had notice of your fair approach;
 	And he and his competitors in oath
 	Were all address'd to meet you, gentle lady,
 	Before I came. Marry, thus much I have learnt:
 	He rather means to lodge you in the field,
 	Like one that comes here to besiege his court,
 	Than seek a dispensation for his oath,
 	To let you enter his unpeopled house.
 	Here comes Navarre.
 FERDINAND	Fair princess, welcome to the court of Navarre.
 PRINCESS	'Fair' I give you back again; and 'welcome' I have
 	not yet: the roof of this court is too high to be
 	yours; and welcome to the wide fields too base to be mine.
 FERDINAND	You shall be welcome, madam, to my court.
 PRINCESS	I will be welcome, then: conduct me thither.
 FERDINAND	Hear me, dear lady; I have sworn an oath.
 PRINCESS	Our Lady help my lord! he'll be forsworn.
 FERDINAND	Not for the world, fair madam, by my will.
 PRINCESS	Why, will shall break it; will and nothing else.
 FERDINAND	Your ladyship is ignorant what it is.
 PRINCESS	Were my lord so, his ignorance were wise,
 	Where now his knowledge must prove ignorance.
 	I hear your grace hath sworn out house-keeping:
 	Tis deadly sin to keep that oath, my lord,
 	And sin to break it.
 	But pardon me. I am too sudden-bold:
 	To teach a teacher ill beseemeth me.
 	Vouchsafe to read the purpose of my coming,
 	And suddenly resolve me in my suit.
 FERDINAND	Madam, I will, if suddenly I may.
 PRINCESS	You will the sooner, that I were away;
 	For you'll prove perjured if you make me stay.
 BIRON	Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?
 ROSALINE	Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?
 BIRON	I know you did.
 ROSALINE	How needless was it then to ask the question!
 BIRON	You must not be so quick.
 ROSALINE	'Tis 'long of you that spur me with such questions.
 BIRON	Your wit's too hot, it speeds too fast, 'twill tire.
 ROSALINE	Not till it leave the rider in the mire.
 BIRON	What time o' day?
 ROSALINE	The hour that fools should ask.
 BIRON	Now fair befall your mask!
 ROSALINE	Fair fall the face it covers!
 BIRON	And send you many lovers!
 ROSALINE	Amen, so you be none.
 BIRON	Nay, then will I be gone.
 FERDINAND	Madam, your father here doth intimate
 	The payment of a hundred thousand crowns;
 	Being but the one half of an entire sum
 	Disbursed by my father in his wars.
 	But say that he or we, as neither have,
 	Received that sum, yet there remains unpaid
 	A hundred thousand more; in surety of the which,
 	One part of Aquitaine is bound to us,
 	Although not valued to the money's worth.
 	If then the king your father will restore
 	But that one half which is unsatisfied,
 	We will give up our right in Aquitaine,
 	And hold fair friendship with his majesty.
 	But that, it seems, he little purposeth,
 	For here he doth demand to have repaid
 	A hundred thousand crowns; and not demands,
 	On payment of a hundred thousand crowns,
 	To have his title live in Aquitaine;
 	Which we much rather had depart withal
 	And have the money by our father lent
 	Than Aquitaine so gelded as it is.
 	Dear Princess, were not his requests so far
 	From reason's yielding, your fair self should make
 	A yielding 'gainst some reason in my breast
 	And go well satisfied to France again.
 PRINCESS	You do the king my father too much wrong
 	And wrong the reputation of your name,
 	In so unseeming to confess receipt
 	Of that which hath so faithfully been paid.
 FERDINAND	I do protest I never heard of it;
 	And if you prove it, I'll repay it back
 	Or yield up Aquitaine.
 PRINCESS	We arrest your word.
 	Boyet, you can produce acquittances
 	For such a sum from special officers
 	Of Charles his father.
 FERDINAND	Satisfy me so.
 BOYET	So please your grace, the packet is not come
 	Where that and other specialties are bound:
 	To-morrow you shall have a sight of them.
 FERDINAND	It shall suffice me: at which interview
 	All liberal reason I will yield unto.
 	Meantime receive such welcome at my hand
 	As honour without breach of honour may
 	Make tender of to thy true worthiness:
 	You may not come, fair princess, in my gates;
 	But here without you shall be so received
 	As you shall deem yourself lodged in my heart,
 	Though so denied fair harbour in my house.
 	Your own good thoughts excuse me, and farewell:
 	To-morrow shall we visit you again.
 PRINCESS	Sweet health and fair desires consort your grace!
 FERDINAND	Thy own wish wish I thee in every place!
 BIRON	Lady, I will commend you to mine own heart.
 ROSALINE	Pray you, do my commendations; I would be glad to see it.
 BIRON	I would you heard it groan.
 ROSALINE	Is the fool sick?
 BIRON	Sick at the heart.
 ROSALINE	Alack, let it blood.
 BIRON	Would that do it good?
 ROSALINE	My physic says 'ay.'
 BIRON	Will you prick't with your eye?
 ROSALINE	No point, with my knife.
 BIRON	Now, God save thy life!
 ROSALINE	And yours from long living!
 BIRON	I cannot stay thanksgiving.
 DUMAIN	Sir, I pray you, a word: what lady is that same?
 BOYET	The heir of Alencon, Katharine her name.
 DUMAIN	A gallant lady. Monsieur, fare you well.
 LONGAVILLE	I beseech you a word: what is she in the white?
 BOYET	A woman sometimes, an you saw her in the light.
 LONGAVILLE	Perchance light in the light. I desire her name.
 BOYET	She hath but one for herself; to desire that were a shame.
 LONGAVILLE	Pray you, sir, whose daughter?
 BOYET	Her mother's, I have heard.
 LONGAVILLE	God's blessing on your beard!
 BOYET	Good sir, be not offended.
 	She is an heir of Falconbridge.
 LONGAVILLE	Nay, my choler is ended.
 	She is a most sweet lady.
 BOYET	Not unlike, sir, that may be.
 BIRON	What's her name in the cap?
 BOYET	Rosaline, by good hap.
 BIRON	Is she wedded or no?
 BOYET	To her will, sir, or so.
 BIRON	You are welcome, sir: adieu.
 BOYET	Farewell to me, sir, and welcome to you.
 	[Exit BIRON]
 MARIA	That last is Biron, the merry madcap lord:
 	Not a word with him but a jest.
 BOYET	And every jest but a word.
 PRINCESS	It was well done of you to take him at his word.
 BOYET	I was as willing to grapple as he was to board.
 MARIA	Two hot sheeps, marry.
 BOYET	And wherefore not ships?
 	No sheep, sweet lamb, unless we feed on your lips.
 MARIA	You sheep, and I pasture: shall that finish the jest?
 BOYET	So you grant pasture for me.
 	[Offering to kiss her]
 MARIA	Not so, gentle beast:
 	My lips are no common, though several they be.
 BOYET	Belonging to whom?
 MARIA	                  To my fortunes and me.
 PRINCESS	Good wits will be jangling; but, gentles, agree:
 	This civil war of wits were much better used
 	On Navarre and his book-men; for here 'tis abused.
 BOYET	If my observation, which very seldom lies,
 	By the heart's still rhetoric disclosed with eyes,
 	Deceive me not now, Navarre is infected.
 PRINCESS	With what?
 BOYET	With that which we lovers entitle affected.
 PRINCESS	Your reason?
 BOYET	Why, all his behaviors did make their retire
 	To the court of his eye, peeping thorough desire:
 	His heart, like an agate, with your print impress'd,
 	Proud with his form, in his eye pride express'd:
 	His tongue, all impatient to speak and not see,
 	Did stumble with haste in his eyesight to be;
 	All senses to that sense did make their repair,
 	To feel only looking on fairest of fair:
 	Methought all his senses were lock'd in his eye,
 	As jewels in crystal for some prince to buy;
 	Who, tendering their own worth from where they were glass'd,
 	Did point you to buy them, along as you pass'd:
 	His face's own margent did quote such amazes
 	That all eyes saw his eyes enchanted with gazes.
 	I'll give you Aquitaine and all that is his,
 	An you give him for my sake but one loving kiss.
 PRINCESS	Come to our pavilion: Boyet is disposed.
 BOYET	But to speak that in words which his eye hath
 	I only have made a mouth of his eye,
 	By adding a tongue which I know will not lie.
 ROSALINE	Thou art an old love-monger and speakest skilfully.
 MARIA	He is Cupid's grandfather and learns news of him.
 ROSALINE	Then was Venus like her mother, for her father is but grim.
 BOYET	Do you hear, my mad wenches?
 BOYET	What then, do you see?
 ROSALINE	Ay, our way to be gone.
 BOYET	You are too hard for me.
 SCENE I	The same.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Warble, child; make passionate my sense of hearing.
 MOTH	Concolinel.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Sweet air! Go, tenderness of years; take this key,
 	give enlargement to the swain, bring him festinately
 	hither: I must employ him in a letter to my love.
 MOTH	Master, will you win your love with a French brawl?
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	How meanest thou? brawling in French?
 MOTH	No, my complete master: but to jig off a tune at
 	the tongue's end, canary to it with your feet, humour
 	it with turning up your eyelids, sigh a note and
 	sing a note, sometime through the throat, as if you
 	swallowed love with singing love, sometime through
 	the nose, as if you snuffed up love by smelling
 	love; with your hat penthouse-like o'er the shop of
 	your eyes; with your arms crossed on your thin-belly
 	doublet like a rabbit on a spit; or your hands in
 	your pocket like a man after the old painting; and
 	keep not too long in one tune, but a snip and away.
 	These are complements, these are humours; these
 	betray nice wenches, that would be betrayed without
 	these; and make them men of note--do you note
 	me?--that most are affected to these.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	How hast thou purchased this experience?
 MOTH	By my penny of observation.
 MOTH	'The hobby-horse is forgot.'
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Callest thou my love 'hobby-horse'?
 MOTH	No, master; the hobby-horse is but a colt, and your
 	love perhaps a hackney. But have you forgot your love?
 MOTH	Negligent student! learn her by heart.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	By heart and in heart, boy.
 MOTH	And out of heart, master: all those three I will prove.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	What wilt thou prove?
 MOTH	A man, if I live; and this, by, in, and without, upon
 	the instant: by heart you love her, because your
 	heart cannot come by her; in heart you love her,
 	because your heart is in love with her; and out of
 	heart you love her, being out of heart that you
 	cannot enjoy her.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I am all these three.
 MOTH	And three times as much more, and yet nothing at
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Fetch hither the swain: he must carry me a letter.
 MOTH	A message well sympathized; a horse to be ambassador
 	for an ass.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Ha, ha! what sayest thou?
 MOTH	Marry, sir, you must send the ass upon the horse,
 	for he is very slow-gaited. But I go.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	The way is but short: away!
 MOTH	As swift as lead, sir.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	The meaning, pretty ingenious?
 	Is not lead a metal heavy, dull, and slow?
 MOTH	Minime, honest master; or rather, master, no.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I say lead is slow.
 MOTH	You are too swift, sir, to say so:
 	Is that lead slow which is fired from a gun?
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Sweet smoke of rhetoric!
 	He reputes me a cannon; and the bullet, that's he:
 	I shoot thee at the swain.
 MOTH	Thump then and I flee.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	A most acute juvenal; voluble and free of grace!
 	By thy favour, sweet welkin, I must sigh in thy face:
 	Most rude melancholy, valour gives thee place.
 	My herald is return'd.
 	[Re-enter MOTH with COSTARD]
 MOTH	A wonder, master! here's a costard broken in a shin.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Some enigma, some riddle: come, thy l'envoy; begin.
 COSTARD	No enigma, no riddle, no l'envoy; no salve in the
 	mail, sir: O, sir, plantain, a plain plantain! no
 	l'envoy, no l'envoy; no salve, sir, but a plantain!
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	By virtue, thou enforcest laughter; thy silly
 	thought my spleen; the heaving of my lungs provokes
 	me to ridiculous smiling. O, pardon me, my stars!
 	Doth the inconsiderate take salve for l'envoy, and
 	the word l'envoy for a salve?
 MOTH	Do the wise think them other? is not l'envoy a salve?
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	No, page: it is an epilogue or discourse, to make plain
 	Some obscure precedence that hath tofore been sain.
 	I will example it:
 	The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
 	Were still at odds, being but three.
 	There's the moral. Now the l'envoy.
 MOTH	I will add the l'envoy. Say the moral again.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	          The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
 	Were still at odds, being but three.
 MOTH	          Until the goose came out of door,
 	And stay'd the odds by adding four.
 	Now will I begin your moral, and do you follow with
 	my l'envoy.
 	The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
 	Were still at odds, being but three.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	          Until the goose came out of door,
 	Staying the odds by adding four.
 MOTH	A good l'envoy, ending in the goose: would you
 	desire more?
 COSTARD	The boy hath sold him a bargain, a goose, that's flat.
 	Sir, your pennyworth is good, an your goose be fat.
 	To sell a bargain well is as cunning as fast and loose:
 	Let me see; a fat l'envoy; ay, that's a fat goose.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Come hither, come hither. How did this argument begin?
 MOTH	By saying that a costard was broken in a shin.
 	Then call'd you for the l'envoy.
 COSTARD	True, and I for a plantain: thus came your
 	argument in;
 	Then the boy's fat l'envoy, the goose that you bought;
 	And he ended the market.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	But tell me; how was there a costard broken in a shin?
 MOTH	I will tell you sensibly.
 COSTARD	Thou hast no feeling of it, Moth: I will speak that l'envoy:
 	I Costard, running out, that was safely within,
 	Fell over the threshold and broke my shin.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	We will talk no more of this matter.
 COSTARD	Till there be more matter in the shin.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Sirrah Costard, I will enfranchise thee.
 COSTARD	O, marry me to one Frances: I smell some l'envoy,
 	some goose, in this.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	By my sweet soul, I mean setting thee at liberty,
 	enfreedoming thy person; thou wert immured,
 	restrained, captivated, bound.
 COSTARD	True, true; and now you will be my purgation and let me loose.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I give thee thy liberty, set thee from durance; and,
 	in lieu thereof, impose on thee nothing but this:
 	bear this significant
 	[Giving a letter]
 		to the country maid Jaquenetta:
 	there is remuneration; for the best ward of mine
 	honour is rewarding my dependents. Moth, follow.
 MOTH	Like the sequel, I. Signior Costard, adieu.
 COSTARD	My sweet ounce of man's flesh! my incony Jew!
 	[Exit MOTH]
 	Now will I look to his remuneration. Remuneration!
 	O, that's the Latin word for three farthings: three
 	farthings--remuneration.--'What's the price of this
 	inkle?'--'One penny.'--'No, I'll give you a
 	remuneration:' why, it carries it. Remuneration!
 	why, it is a fairer name than French crown. I will
 	never buy and sell out of this word.
 	[Enter BIRON]
 BIRON	O, my good knave Costard! exceedingly well met.
 COSTARD	Pray you, sir, how much carnation ribbon may a man
 	buy for a remuneration?
 BIRON	What is a remuneration?
 COSTARD	Marry, sir, halfpenny farthing.
 BIRON	Why, then, three-farthing worth of silk.
 COSTARD	I thank your worship: God be wi' you!
 BIRON	Stay, slave; I must employ thee:
 	As thou wilt win my favour, good my knave,
 	Do one thing for me that I shall entreat.
 COSTARD	When would you have it done, sir?
 BIRON	This afternoon.
 COSTARD	Well, I will do it, sir: fare you well.
 BIRON	Thou knowest not what it is.
 COSTARD	I shall know, sir, when I have done it.
 BIRON	Why, villain, thou must know first.
 COSTARD	I will come to your worship to-morrow morning.
 BIRON	It must be done this afternoon.
 	Hark, slave, it is but this:
 	The princess comes to hunt here in the park,
 	And in her train there is a gentle lady;
 	When tongues speak sweetly, then they name her name,
 	And Rosaline they call her: ask for her;
 	And to her white hand see thou do commend
 	This seal'd-up counsel. There's thy guerdon; go.
 	[Giving him a shilling]
 COSTARD	Gardon, O sweet gardon! better than remuneration,
 	a'leven-pence farthing better: most sweet gardon! I
 	will do it sir, in print. Gardon! Remuneration!
 BIRON	And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love's whip;
 	A very beadle to a humorous sigh;
 	A critic, nay, a night-watch constable;
 	A domineering pedant o'er the boy;
 	Than whom no mortal so magnificent!
 	This whimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy;
 	This senior-junior, giant-dwarf, Dan Cupid;
 	Regent of love-rhymes, lord of folded arms,
 	The anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
 	Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
 	Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
 	Sole imperator and great general
 	Of trotting 'paritors:--O my little heart:--
 	And I to be a corporal of his field,
 	And wear his colours like a tumbler's hoop!
 	What, I! I love! I sue! I seek a wife!
 	A woman, that is like a German clock,
 	Still a-repairing, ever out of frame,
 	And never going aright, being a watch,
 	But being watch'd that it may still go right!
 	Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;
 	And, among three, to love the worst of all;
 	A wightly wanton with a velvet brow,
 	With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes;
 	Ay, and by heaven, one that will do the deed
 	Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard:
 	And I to sigh for her! to watch for her!
 	To pray for her! Go to; it is a plague
 	That Cupid will impose for my neglect
 	Of his almighty dreadful little might.
 	Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue and groan:
 	Some men must love my lady and some Joan.
 SCENE I	The same.
 	[Enter the PRINCESS, and her train, a Forester,
 PRINCESS	Was that the king, that spurred his horse so hard
 	Against the steep uprising of the hill?
 BOYET	I know not; but I think it was not he.
 PRINCESS	Whoe'er a' was, a' show'd a mounting mind.
 	Well, lords, to-day we shall have our dispatch:
 	On Saturday we will return to France.
 	Then, forester, my friend, where is the bush
 	That we must stand and play the murderer in?
 Forester	Hereby, upon the edge of yonder coppice;
 	A stand where you may make the fairest shoot.
 PRINCESS	I thank my beauty, I am fair that shoot,
 	And thereupon thou speak'st the fairest shoot.
 Forester	Pardon me, madam, for I meant not so.
 PRINCESS	What, what? first praise me and again say no?
 	O short-lived pride! Not fair? alack for woe!
 Forester	Yes, madam, fair.
 PRINCESS	                  Nay, never paint me now:
 	Where fair is not, praise cannot mend the brow.
 	Here, good my glass, take this for telling true:
 	Fair payment for foul words is more than due.
 Forester	Nothing but fair is that which you inherit.
 PRINCESS	See see, my beauty will be saved by merit!
 	O heresy in fair, fit for these days!
 	A giving hand, though foul, shall have fair praise.
 	But come, the bow: now mercy goes to kill,
 	And shooting well is then accounted ill.
 	Thus will I save my credit in the shoot:
 	Not wounding, pity would not let me do't;
 	If wounding, then it was to show my skill,
 	That more for praise than purpose meant to kill.
 	And out of question so it is sometimes,
 	Glory grows guilty of detested crimes,
 	When, for fame's sake, for praise, an outward part,
 	We bend to that the working of the heart;
 	As I for praise alone now seek to spill
 	The poor deer's blood, that my heart means no ill.
 BOYET	Do not curst wives hold that self-sovereignty
 	Only for praise sake, when they strive to be
 	Lords o'er their lords?
 PRINCESS	Only for praise: and praise we may afford
 	To any lady that subdues a lord.
 BOYET	Here comes a member of the commonwealth.
 	[Enter COSTARD]
 COSTARD	God dig-you-den all! Pray you, which is the head lady?
 PRINCESS	Thou shalt know her, fellow, by the rest that have no heads.
 COSTARD	Which is the greatest lady, the highest?
 PRINCESS	The thickest and the tallest.
 COSTARD	The thickest and the tallest! it is so; truth is truth.
 	An your waist, mistress, were as slender as my wit,
 	One o' these maids' girdles for your waist should be fit.
 	Are not you the chief woman? you are the thickest here.
 PRINCESS	What's your will, sir? what's your will?
 COSTARD	I have a letter from Monsieur Biron to one Lady Rosaline.
 PRINCESS	O, thy letter, thy letter! he's a good friend of mine:
 	Stand aside, good bearer. Boyet, you can carve;
 	Break up this capon.
 BOYET	I am bound to serve.
 	This letter is mistook, it importeth none here;
 	It is writ to Jaquenetta.
 PRINCESS	We will read it, I swear.
 	Break the neck of the wax, and every one give ear.
 BOYET	'By heaven, that thou art fair, is most infallible;
 	true, that thou art beauteous; truth itself, that
 	thou art lovely. More fairer than fair, beautiful
 	than beauteous, truer than truth itself, have
 	commiseration on thy heroical vassal! The
 	magnanimous and most illustrate king Cophetua set
 	eye upon the pernicious and indubitate beggar
 	Zenelophon; and he it was that might rightly say,
 	Veni, vidi, vici; which to annothanize in the
 	vulgar,--O base and obscure vulgar!--videlicet, He
 	came, saw, and overcame: he came, one; saw two;
 	overcame, three. Who came? the king: why did he
 	come? to see: why did he see? to overcome: to
 	whom came he? to the beggar: what saw he? the
 	beggar: who overcame he? the beggar. The
 	conclusion is victory: on whose side? the king's.
 	The captive is enriched: on whose side? the
 	beggar's. The catastrophe is a nuptial: on whose
 	side? the king's: no, on both in one, or one in
 	both. I am the king; for so stands the comparison:
 	thou the beggar; for so witnesseth thy lowliness.
 	Shall I command thy love? I may: shall I enforce
 	thy love? I could: shall I entreat thy love? I
 	will. What shalt thou exchange for rags? robes;
 	for tittles? titles; for thyself? me. Thus,
 	expecting thy reply, I profane my lips on thy foot,
 	my eyes on thy picture. and my heart on thy every
 	part. Thine, in the dearest design of industry,
 	Thus dost thou hear the Nemean lion roar
 	'Gainst thee, thou lamb, that standest as his prey.
 	Submissive fall his princely feet before,
 	And he from forage will incline to play:
 	But if thou strive, poor soul, what art thou then?
 	Food for his rage, repasture for his den.
 PRINCESS	What plume of feathers is he that indited this letter?
 	What vane? what weathercock? did you ever hear better?
 BOYET	I am much deceived but I remember the style.
 PRINCESS	Else your memory is bad, going o'er it erewhile.
 BOYET	This Armado is a Spaniard, that keeps here in court;
 	A phantasime, a Monarcho, and one that makes sport
 	To the prince and his bookmates.
 PRINCESS	Thou fellow, a word:
 	Who gave thee this letter?
 COSTARD	I told you; my lord.
 PRINCESS	To whom shouldst thou give it?
 COSTARD	From my lord to my lady.
 PRINCESS	From which lord to which lady?
 COSTARD	From my lord Biron, a good master of mine,
 	To a lady of France that he call'd Rosaline.
 PRINCESS	Thou hast mistaken his letter. Come, lords, away.
 	Here, sweet, put up this: 'twill be thine another day.
 	[Exeunt PRINCESS and train]
 BOYET	Who is the suitor? who is the suitor?
 ROSALINE	Shall I teach you to know?
 BOYET	Ay, my continent of beauty.
 ROSALINE	Why, she that bears the bow.
 	Finely put off!
 BOYET	My lady goes to kill horns; but, if thou marry,
 	Hang me by the neck, if horns that year miscarry.
 	Finely put on!
 ROSALINE	Well, then, I am the shooter.
 BOYET	And who is your deer?
 ROSALINE	If we choose by the horns, yourself come not near.
 	Finely put on, indeed!
 MARIA	You still wrangle with her, Boyet, and she strikes
 	at the brow.
 BOYET	But she herself is hit lower: have I hit her now?
 ROSALINE	Shall I come upon thee with an old saying, that was
 	a man when King Pepin of France was a little boy, as
 	touching the hit it?
 BOYET	So I may answer thee with one as old, that was a
 	woman when Queen Guinover of Britain was a little
 	wench, as touching the hit it.
 ROSALINE	          Thou canst not hit it, hit it, hit it,
 	Thou canst not hit it, my good man.
 BOYET	          An I cannot, cannot, cannot,
 	An I cannot, another can.
 COSTARD	By my troth, most pleasant: how both did fit it!
 MARIA	A mark marvellous well shot, for they both did hit it.
 BOYET	A mark! O, mark but that mark! A mark, says my lady!
 	Let the mark have a prick in't, to mete at, if it may be.
 MARIA	Wide o' the bow hand! i' faith, your hand is out.
 COSTARD	Indeed, a' must shoot nearer, or he'll ne'er hit the clout.
 BOYET	An if my hand be out, then belike your hand is in.
 COSTARD	Then will she get the upshoot by cleaving the pin.
 MARIA	Come, come, you talk greasily; your lips grow foul.
 COSTARD	She's too hard for you at pricks, sir: challenge her to bowl.
 BOYET	I fear too much rubbing. Good night, my good owl.
 	[Exeunt BOYET and MARIA]
 COSTARD	By my soul, a swain! a most simple clown!
 	Lord, Lord, how the ladies and I have put him down!
 	O' my troth, most sweet jests! most incony
 	vulgar wit!
 	When it comes so smoothly off, so obscenely, as it
 	were, so fit.
 	Armado o' th' one side,--O, a most dainty man!
 	To see him walk before a lady and to bear her fan!
 	To see him kiss his hand! and how most sweetly a'
 	will swear!
 	And his page o' t' other side, that handful of wit!
 	Ah, heavens, it is a most pathetical nit!
 	Sola, sola!
 	[Shout within]
 	[Exit COSTARD, running]
 SCENE II	The same.
 SIR NATHANIEL	Very reverend sport, truly; and done in the testimony
 	of a good conscience.
 HOLOFERNES	The deer was, as you know, sanguis, in blood; ripe
 	as the pomewater, who now hangeth like a jewel in
 	the ear of caelo, the sky, the welkin, the heaven;
 	and anon falleth like a crab on the face of terra,
 	the soil, the land, the earth.
 SIR NATHANIEL	Truly, Master Holofernes, the epithets are sweetly
 	varied, like a scholar at the least: but, sir, I
 	assure ye, it was a buck of the first head.
 HOLOFERNES	Sir Nathaniel, haud credo.
 DULL	'Twas not a haud credo; 'twas a pricket.
 HOLOFERNES	Most barbarous intimation! yet a kind of
 	insinuation, as it were, in via, in way, of
 	explication; facere, as it were, replication, or
 	rather, ostentare, to show, as it were, his
 	inclination, after his undressed, unpolished,
 	uneducated, unpruned, untrained, or rather,
 	unlettered, or ratherest, unconfirmed fashion, to
 	insert again my haud credo for a deer.
 DULL	I said the deer was not a haud credo; twas a pricket.
 HOLOFERNES	Twice-sod simplicity, his coctus!
 	O thou monster Ignorance, how deformed dost thou look!
 SIR NATHANIEL	Sir, he hath never fed of the dainties that are bred
 	in a book; he hath not eat paper, as it were; he
 	hath not drunk ink: his intellect is not
 	replenished; he is only an animal, only sensible in
 	the duller parts:
 	And such barren plants are set before us, that we
 	thankful should be,
 	Which we of taste and feeling are, for those parts that
 	do fructify in us more than he.
 	For as it would ill become me to be vain, indiscreet, or a fool,
 	So were there a patch set on learning, to see him in a school:
 	But omne bene, say I; being of an old father's mind,
 	Many can brook the weather that love not the wind.
 DULL	You two are book-men: can you tell me by your wit
 	What was a month old at Cain's birth, that's not five
 	weeks old as yet?
 HOLOFERNES	Dictynna, goodman Dull; Dictynna, goodman Dull.
 DULL	What is Dictynna?
 SIR NATHANIEL	A title to Phoebe, to Luna, to the moon.
 HOLOFERNES	The moon was a month old when Adam was no more,
 	And raught not to five weeks when he came to
 	The allusion holds in the exchange.
 DULL	'Tis true indeed; the collusion holds in the exchange.
 HOLOFERNES	God comfort thy capacity! I say, the allusion holds
 	in the exchange.
 DULL	And I say, the pollusion holds in the exchange; for
 	the moon is never but a month old: and I say beside
 	that, 'twas a pricket that the princess killed.
 HOLOFERNES	Sir Nathaniel, will you hear an extemporal epitaph
 	on the death of the deer? And, to humour the
 	ignorant, call I the deer the princess killed a pricket.
 SIR NATHANIEL	Perge, good Master Holofernes, perge; so it shall
 	please you to abrogate scurrility.
 HOLOFERNES	I will something affect the letter, for it argues facility.
 	The preyful princess pierced and prick'd a pretty
 	pleasing pricket;
 	Some say a sore; but not a sore, till now made
 	sore with shooting.
 	The dogs did yell: put L to sore, then sorel jumps
 	from thicket;
 	Or pricket sore, or else sorel; the people fall a-hooting.
 	If sore be sore, then L to sore makes fifty sores
 	one sorel.
 	Of one sore I an hundred make by adding but one more L.
 SIR NATHANIEL	A rare talent!
 DULL	[Aside]  If a talent be a claw, look how he claws
 	him with a talent.
 HOLOFERNES	This is a gift that I have, simple, simple; a
 	foolish extravagant spirit, full of forms, figures,
 	shapes, objects, ideas, apprehensions, motions,
 	revolutions: these are begot in the ventricle of
 	memory, nourished in the womb of pia mater, and
 	delivered upon the mellowing of occasion. But the
 	gift is good in those in whom it is acute, and I am
 	thankful for it.
 SIR NATHANIEL	Sir, I praise the Lord for you; and so may my
 	parishioners; for their sons are well tutored by
 	you, and their daughters profit very greatly under
 	you: you are a good member of the commonwealth.
 HOLOFERNES	Mehercle, if their sons be ingenuous, they shall
 	want no instruction; if their daughters be capable,
 	I will put it to them: but vir sapit qui pauca
 	loquitur; a soul feminine saluteth us.
 JAQUENETTA	God give you good morrow, master Parson.
 HOLOFERNES	Master Parson, quasi pers-on. An if one should be
 	pierced, which is the one?
 COSTARD	Marry, master schoolmaster, he that is likest to a hogshead.
 HOLOFERNES	Piercing a hogshead! a good lustre of conceit in a
 	tuft of earth; fire enough for a flint, pearl enough
 	for a swine: 'tis pretty; it is well.
 JAQUENETTA	Good master Parson, be so good as read me this
 	letter: it was given me by Costard, and sent me
 	from Don Armado: I beseech you, read it.
 HOLOFERNES	Fauste, precor gelida quando pecus omne sub umbra
 	Ruminat,--and so forth. Ah, good old Mantuan! I
 	may speak of thee as the traveller doth of Venice;
 	Venetia, Venetia,
 	Chi non ti vede non ti pretia.
 	Old Mantuan, old Mantuan! who understandeth thee
 	not, loves thee not. Ut, re, sol, la, mi, fa.
 	Under pardon, sir, what are the contents? or rather,
 	as Horace says in his--What, my soul, verses?
 SIR NATHANIEL	Ay, sir, and very learned.
 HOLOFERNES	Let me hear a staff, a stanze, a verse; lege, domine.
 	If love make me forsworn, how shall I swear to love?
 	Ah, never faith could hold, if not to beauty vow'd!
 	Though to myself forsworn, to thee I'll faithful prove:
 	Those thoughts to me were oaks, to thee like
 	osiers bow'd.
 	Study his bias leaves and makes his book thine eyes,
 	Where all those pleasures live that art would
 	If knowledge be the mark, to know thee shall suffice;
 	Well learned is that tongue that well can thee commend,
 	All ignorant that soul that sees thee without wonder;
 	Which is to me some praise that I thy parts admire:
 	Thy eye Jove's lightning bears, thy voice his dreadful thunder,
 	Which not to anger bent, is music and sweet fire.
 	Celestial as thou art, O, pardon, love, this wrong,
 	That sings heaven's praise with such an earthly tongue.
 HOLOFERNES	You find not the apostraphas, and so miss the
 	accent: let me supervise the canzonet. Here are
 	only numbers ratified; but, for the elegancy,
 	facility, and golden cadence of poesy, caret.
 	Ovidius Naso was the man: and why, indeed, Naso,
 	but for smelling out the odouriferous flowers of
 	fancy, the jerks of invention? Imitari is nothing:
 	so doth the hound his master, the ape his keeper,
 	the tired horse his rider. But, damosella virgin,
 	was this directed to you?
 JAQUENETTA	Ay, sir, from one Monsieur Biron, one of the strange
 	queen's lords.
 HOLOFERNES	I will overglance the superscript: 'To the
 	snow-white hand of the most beauteous Lady
 	Rosaline.' I will look again on the intellect of
 	the letter, for the nomination of the party writing
 	to the person written unto: 'Your ladyship's in all
 	desired employment, BIRON.' Sir Nathaniel, this
 	Biron is one of the votaries with the king; and here
 	he hath framed a letter to a sequent of the stranger
 	queen's, which accidentally, or by the way of
 	progression, hath miscarried. Trip and go, my
 	sweet; deliver this paper into the royal hand of the
 	king: it may concern much. Stay not thy
 	compliment; I forgive thy duty; adieu.
 JAQUENETTA	Good Costard, go with me. Sir, God save your life!
 COSTARD	Have with thee, my girl.
 SIR NATHANIEL	Sir, you have done this in the fear of God, very
 	religiously; and, as a certain father saith,--
 HOLOFERNES	Sir tell me not of the father; I do fear colourable
 	colours. But to return to the verses: did they
 	please you, Sir Nathaniel?
 SIR NATHANIEL	Marvellous well for the pen.
 HOLOFERNES	I do dine to-day at the father's of a certain pupil
 	of mine; where, if, before repast, it shall please
 	you to gratify the table with a grace, I will, on my
 	privilege I have with the parents of the foresaid
 	child or pupil, undertake your ben venuto; where I
 	will prove those verses to be very unlearned,
 	neither savouring of poetry, wit, nor invention: I
 	beseech your society.
 SIR NATHANIEL	And thank you too; for society, saith the text, is
 	the happiness of life.
 HOLOFERNES	And, certes, the text most infallibly concludes it.
 	[To DULL]
 	Sir, I do invite you too; you shall not
 	say me nay: pauca verba. Away! the gentles are at
 	their game, and we will to our recreation.
 SCENE III	The same.
 	[Enter BIRON, with a paper]
 BIRON	The king he is hunting the deer; I am coursing
 	myself: they have pitched a toil; I am toiling in
 	a pitch,--pitch that defiles: defile! a foul
 	word. Well, set thee down, sorrow! for so they say
 	the fool said, and so say I, and I the fool: well
 	proved, wit! By the Lord, this love is as mad as
 	Ajax: it kills sheep; it kills me, I a sheep:
 	well proved again o' my side! I will not love: if
 	I do, hang me; i' faith, I will not. O, but her
 	eye,--by this light, but for her eye, I would not
 	love her; yes, for her two eyes. Well, I do nothing
 	in the world but lie, and lie in my throat. By
 	heaven, I do love: and it hath taught me to rhyme
 	and to be melancholy; and here is part of my rhyme,
 	and here my melancholy. Well, she hath one o' my
 	sonnets already: the clown bore it, the fool sent
 	it, and the lady hath it: sweet clown, sweeter
 	fool, sweetest lady! By the world, I would not care
 	a pin, if the other three were in. Here comes one
 	with a paper: God give him grace to groan!
 	[Stands aside]
 	[Enter FERDINAND, with a paper]
 BIRON	[Aside]  Shot, by heaven! Proceed, sweet Cupid:
 	thou hast thumped him with thy bird-bolt under the
 	left pap. In faith, secrets!
 	So sweet a kiss the golden sun gives not
 	To those fresh morning drops upon the rose,
 	As thy eye-beams, when their fresh rays have smote
 	The night of dew that on my cheeks down flows:
 	Nor shines the silver moon one half so bright
 	Through the transparent bosom of the deep,
 	As doth thy face through tears of mine give light;
 	Thou shinest in every tear that I do weep:
 	No drop but as a coach doth carry thee;
 	So ridest thou triumphing in my woe.
 	Do but behold the tears that swell in me,
 	And they thy glory through my grief will show:
 	But do not love thyself; then thou wilt keep
 	My tears for glasses, and still make me weep.
 	O queen of queens! how far dost thou excel,
 	No thought can think, nor tongue of mortal tell.
 	How shall she know my griefs? I'll drop the paper:
 	Sweet leaves, shade folly. Who is he comes here?
 	[Steps aside]
 	What, Longaville! and reading! listen, ear.
 BIRON	Now, in thy likeness, one more fool appear!
 	[Enter LONGAVILLE, with a paper]
 LONGAVILLE	Ay me, I am forsworn!
 BIRON	Why, he comes in like a perjure, wearing papers.
 FERDINAND	In love, I hope: sweet fellowship in shame!
 BIRON	One drunkard loves another of the name.
 LONGAVILLE	Am I the first that have been perjured so?
 BIRON	I could put thee in comfort. Not by two that I know:
 	Thou makest the triumviry, the corner-cap of society,
 	The shape of Love's Tyburn that hangs up simplicity.
 LONGAVILLE	I fear these stubborn lines lack power to move:
 	O sweet Maria, empress of my love!
 	These numbers will I tear, and write in prose.
 BIRON	O, rhymes are guards on wanton Cupid's hose:
 	Disfigure not his slop.
 LONGAVILLE	This same shall go.
 	Did not the heavenly rhetoric of thine eye,
 	'Gainst whom the world cannot hold argument,
 	Persuade my heart to this false perjury?
 	Vows for thee broke deserve not punishment.
 	A woman I forswore; but I will prove,
 	Thou being a goddess, I forswore not thee:
 	My vow was earthly, thou a heavenly love;
 	Thy grace being gain'd cures all disgrace in me.
 	Vows are but breath, and breath a vapour is:
 	Then thou, fair sun, which on my earth dost shine,
 	Exhalest this vapour-vow; in thee it is:
 	If broken then, it is no fault of mine:
 	If by me broke, what fool is not so wise
 	To lose an oath to win a paradise?
 BIRON	This is the liver-vein, which makes flesh a deity,
 	A green goose a goddess: pure, pure idolatry.
 	God amend us, God amend! we are much out o' the way.
 LONGAVILLE	By whom shall I send this?--Company! stay.
 	[Steps aside]
 BIRON	All hid, all hid; an old infant play.
 	Like a demigod here sit I in the sky.
 	And wretched fools' secrets heedfully o'ereye.
 	More sacks to the mill! O heavens, I have my wish!
 	[Enter DUMAIN, with a paper]
 	Dumain transform'd! four woodcocks in a dish!
 DUMAIN	O most divine Kate!
 BIRON	O most profane coxcomb!
 DUMAIN	By heaven, the wonder in a mortal eye!
 BIRON	By earth, she is not, corporal, there you lie.
 DUMAIN	Her amber hair for foul hath amber quoted.
 BIRON	An amber-colour'd raven was well noted.
 DUMAIN	As upright as the cedar.
 BIRON	Stoop, I say;
 	Her shoulder is with child.
 DUMAIN	As fair as day.
 BIRON	Ay, as some days; but then no sun must shine.
 DUMAIN	O that I had my wish!
 LONGAVILLE	And I had mine!
 FERDINAND	And I mine too, good Lord!
 BIRON	Amen, so I had mine: is not that a good word?
 DUMAIN	I would forget her; but a fever she
 	Reigns in my blood and will remember'd be.
 BIRON	A fever in your blood! why, then incision
 	Would let her out in saucers: sweet misprision!
 DUMAIN	Once more I'll read the ode that I have writ.
 BIRON	Once more I'll mark how love can vary wit.
 DUMAIN	[Reads]
 	On a day--alack the day!--
 	Love, whose month is ever May,
 	Spied a blossom passing fair
 	Playing in the wanton air:
 	Through the velvet leaves the wind,
 	All unseen, can passage find;
 	That the lover, sick to death,
 	Wish himself the heaven's breath.
 	Air, quoth he, thy cheeks may blow;
 	Air, would I might triumph so!
 	But, alack, my hand is sworn
 	Ne'er to pluck thee from thy thorn;
 	Vow, alack, for youth unmeet,
 	Youth so apt to pluck a sweet!
 	Do not call it sin in me,
 	That I am forsworn for thee;
 	Thou for whom Jove would swear
 	Juno but an Ethiope were;
 	And deny himself for Jove,
 	Turning mortal for thy love.
 	This will I send, and something else more plain,
 	That shall express my true love's fasting pain.
 	O, would the king, Biron, and Longaville,
 	Were lovers too! Ill, to example ill,
 	Would from my forehead wipe a perjured note;
 	For none offend where all alike do dote.
 LONGAVILLE	[Advancing]  Dumain, thy love is far from charity.
 	You may look pale, but I should blush, I know,
 	To be o'erheard and taken napping so.
 FERDINAND	[Advancing]  Come, sir, you blush; as his your case is such;
 	You chide at him, offending twice as much;
 	You do not love Maria; Longaville
 	Did never sonnet for her sake compile,
 	Nor never lay his wreathed arms athwart
 	His loving bosom to keep down his heart.
 	I have been closely shrouded in this bush
 	And mark'd you both and for you both did blush:
 	I heard your guilty rhymes, observed your fashion,
 	Saw sighs reek from you, noted well your passion:
 	Ay me! says one; O Jove! the other cries;
 	One, her hairs were gold, crystal the other's eyes:
 	You would for paradise break faith, and troth;
 	And Jove, for your love, would infringe an oath.
 	What will Biron say when that he shall hear
 	Faith so infringed, which such zeal did swear?
 	How will he scorn! how will he spend his wit!
 	How will he triumph, leap and laugh at it!
 	For all the wealth that ever I did see,
 	I would not have him know so much by me.
 BIRON	Now step I forth to whip hypocrisy.
 	Ah, good my liege, I pray thee, pardon me!
 	Good heart, what grace hast thou, thus to reprove
 	These worms for loving, that art most in love?
 	Your eyes do make no coaches; in your tears
 	There is no certain princess that appears;
 	You'll not be perjured, 'tis a hateful thing;
 	Tush, none but minstrels like of sonneting!
 	But are you not ashamed? nay, are you not,
 	All three of you, to be thus much o'ershot?
 	You found his mote; the king your mote did see;
 	But I a beam do find in each of three.
 	O, what a scene of foolery have I seen,
 	Of sighs, of groans, of sorrow and of teen!
 	O me, with what strict patience have I sat,
 	To see a king transformed to a gnat!
 	To see great Hercules whipping a gig,
 	And profound Solomon to tune a jig,
 	And Nestor play at push-pin with the boys,
 	And critic Timon laugh at idle toys!
 	Where lies thy grief, O, tell me, good Dumain?
 	And gentle Longaville, where lies thy pain?
 	And where my liege's? all about the breast:
 	A caudle, ho!
 FERDINAND	                  Too bitter is thy jest.
 	Are we betray'd thus to thy over-view?
 BIRON	Not you to me, but I betray'd by you:
 	I, that am honest; I, that hold it sin
 	To break the vow I am engaged in;
 	I am betray'd, by keeping company
 	With men like men of inconstancy.
 	When shall you see me write a thing in rhyme?
 	Or groan for love? or spend a minute's time
 	In pruning me? When shall you hear that I
 	Will praise a hand, a foot, a face, an eye,
 	A gait, a state, a brow, a breast, a waist,
 	A leg, a limb?
 FERDINAND	                  Soft! whither away so fast?
 	A true man or a thief that gallops so?
 BIRON	I post from love: good lover, let me go.
 JAQUENETTA	God bless the king!
 FERDINAND	What present hast thou there?
 COSTARD	Some certain treason.
 FERDINAND	What makes treason here?
 COSTARD	Nay, it makes nothing, sir.
 FERDINAND	If it mar nothing neither,
 	The treason and you go in peace away together.
 JAQUENETTA	I beseech your grace, let this letter be read:
 	Our parson misdoubts it; 'twas treason, he said.
 FERDINAND	Biron, read it over.
 	[Giving him the paper]
 	Where hadst thou it?
 FERDINAND	Where hadst thou it?
 COSTARD	Of Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio.
 	[BIRON tears the letter]
 FERDINAND	How now! what is in you? why dost thou tear it?
 BIRON	A toy, my liege, a toy: your grace needs not fear it.
 LONGAVILLE	It did move him to passion, and therefore let's hear it.
 DUMAIN	It is Biron's writing, and here is his name.
 	[Gathering up the pieces]
 BIRON	[To COSTARD]  Ah, you whoreson loggerhead! you were
 	born to do me shame.
 	Guilty, my lord, guilty! I confess, I confess.
 BIRON	That you three fools lack'd me fool to make up the mess:
 	He, he, and you, and you, my liege, and I,
 	Are pick-purses in love, and we deserve to die.
 	O, dismiss this audience, and I shall tell you more.
 DUMAIN	Now the number is even.
 BIRON	True, true; we are four.
 	Will these turtles be gone?
 FERDINAND	Hence, sirs; away!
 COSTARD	Walk aside the true folk, and let the traitors stay.
 BIRON	Sweet lords, sweet lovers, O, let us embrace!
 	As true we are as flesh and blood can be:
 	The sea will ebb and flow, heaven show his face;
 	Young blood doth not obey an old decree:
 	We cannot cross the cause why we were born;
 	Therefore of all hands must we be forsworn.
 FERDINAND	What, did these rent lines show some love of thine?
 BIRON	Did they, quoth you? Who sees the heavenly Rosaline,
 	That, like a rude and savage man of Inde,
 	At the first opening of the gorgeous east,
 	Bows not his vassal head and strucken blind
 	Kisses the base ground with obedient breast?
 	What peremptory eagle-sighted eye
 	Dares look upon the heaven of her brow,
 	That is not blinded by her majesty?
 FERDINAND	   What zeal, what fury hath inspired thee now?
 	My love, her mistress, is a gracious moon;
 	She an attending star, scarce seen a light.
 BIRON	My eyes are then no eyes, nor I Biron:
 	O, but for my love, day would turn to night!
 	Of all complexions the cull'd sovereignty
 	Do meet, as at a fair, in her fair cheek,
 	Where several worthies make one dignity,
 	Where nothing wants that want itself doth seek.
 	Lend me the flourish of all gentle tongues,--
 	Fie, painted rhetoric! O, she needs it not:
 	To things of sale a seller's praise belongs,
 	She passes praise; then praise too short doth blot.
 	A wither'd hermit, five-score winters worn,
 	Might shake off fifty, looking in her eye:
 	Beauty doth varnish age, as if new-born,
 	And gives the crutch the cradle's infancy:
 	O, 'tis the sun that maketh all things shine.
 FERDINAND	   By heaven, thy love is black as ebony.
 BIRON	Is ebony like her? O wood divine!
 	A wife of such wood were felicity.
 	O, who can give an oath? where is a book?
 	That I may swear beauty doth beauty lack,
 	If that she learn not of her eye to look:
 	No face is fair that is not full so black.
 FERDINAND	O paradox! Black is the badge of hell,
 	The hue of dungeons and the suit of night;
 	And beauty's crest becomes the heavens well.
 BIRON	   Devils soonest tempt, resembling spirits of light.
 	O, if in black my lady's brows be deck'd,
 	It mourns that painting and usurping hair
 	Should ravish doters with a false aspect;
 	And therefore is she born to make black fair.
 	Her favour turns the fashion of the days,
 	For native blood is counted painting now;
 	And therefore red, that would avoid dispraise,
 	Paints itself black, to imitate her brow.
 DUMAIN	To look like her are chimney-sweepers black.
 LONGAVILLE	   And since her time are colliers counted bright.
 FERDINAND	And Ethiopes of their sweet complexion crack.
 DUMAIN	   Dark needs no candles now, for dark is light.
 BIRON	Your mistresses dare never come in rain,
 	For fear their colours should be wash'd away.
 FERDINAND	'Twere good, yours did; for, sir, to tell you plain,
 	I'll find a fairer face not wash'd to-day.
 BIRON	I'll prove her fair, or talk till doomsday here.
 FERDINAND	   No devil will fright thee then so much as she.
 DUMAIN	I never knew man hold vile stuff so dear.
 LONGAVILLE	   Look, here's thy love: my foot and her face see.
 BIRON	O, if the streets were paved with thine eyes,
 	Her feet were much too dainty for such tread!
 DUMAIN	O, vile! then, as she goes, what upward lies
 	The street should see as she walk'd overhead.
 FERDINAND	But what of this? are we not all in love?
 BIRON	   Nothing so sure; and thereby all forsworn.
 FERDINAND	Then leave this chat; and, good Biron, now prove
 	Our loving lawful, and our faith not torn.
 DUMAIN	Ay, marry, there; some flattery for this evil.
 LONGAVILLE	   O, some authority how to proceed;
 	Some tricks, some quillets, how to cheat the devil.
 DUMAIN	Some salve for perjury.
 BIRON	'Tis more than need.
 	Have at you, then, affection's men at arms.
 	Consider what you first did swear unto,
 	To fast, to study, and to see no woman;
 	Flat treason 'gainst the kingly state of youth.
 	Say, can you fast? your stomachs are too young;
 	And abstinence engenders maladies.
 	And where that you have vow'd to study, lords,
 	In that each of you have forsworn his book,
 	Can you still dream and pore and thereon look?
 	For when would you, my lord, or you, or you,
 	Have found the ground of study's excellence
 	Without the beauty of a woman's face?
 	[From women's eyes this doctrine I derive;
 	They are the ground, the books, the academes
 	From whence doth spring the true Promethean fire]
 	Why, universal plodding poisons up
 	The nimble spirits in the arteries,
 	As motion and long-during action tires
 	The sinewy vigour of the traveller.
 	Now, for not looking on a woman's face,
 	You have in that forsworn the use of eyes
 	And study too, the causer of your vow;
 	For where is any author in the world
 	Teaches such beauty as a woman's eye?
 	Learning is but an adjunct to ourself
 	And where we are our learning likewise is:
 	Then when ourselves we see in ladies' eyes,
 	Do we not likewise see our learning there?
 	O, we have made a vow to study, lords,
 	And in that vow we have forsworn our books.
 	For when would you, my liege, or you, or you,
 	In leaden contemplation have found out
 	Such fiery numbers as the prompting eyes
 	Of beauty's tutors have enrich'd you with?
 	Other slow arts entirely keep the brain;
 	And therefore, finding barren practisers,
 	Scarce show a harvest of their heavy toil:
 	But love, first learned in a lady's eyes,
 	Lives not alone immured in the brain;
 	But, with the motion of all elements,
 	Courses as swift as thought in every power,
 	And gives to every power a double power,
 	Above their functions and their offices.
 	It adds a precious seeing to the eye;
 	A lover's eyes will gaze an eagle blind;
 	A lover's ear will hear the lowest sound,
 	When the suspicious head of theft is stopp'd:
 	Love's feeling is more soft and sensible
 	Than are the tender horns of cockl'd snails;
 	Love's tongue proves dainty Bacchus gross in taste:
 	For valour, is not Love a Hercules,
 	Still climbing trees in the Hesperides?
 	Subtle as Sphinx; as sweet and musical
 	As bright Apollo's lute, strung with his hair:
 	And when Love speaks, the voice of all the gods
 	Makes heaven drowsy with the harmony.
 	Never durst poet touch a pen to write
 	Until his ink were temper'd with Love's sighs;
 	O, then his lines would ravish savage ears
 	And plant in tyrants mild humility.
 	From women's eyes this doctrine I derive:
 	They sparkle still the right Promethean fire;
 	They are the books, the arts, the academes,
 	That show, contain and nourish all the world:
 	Else none at all in ought proves excellent.
 	Then fools you were these women to forswear,
 	Or keeping what is sworn, you will prove fools.
 	For wisdom's sake, a word that all men love,
 	Or for love's sake, a word that loves all men,
 	Or for men's sake, the authors of these women,
 	Or women's sake, by whom we men are men,
 	Let us once lose our oaths to find ourselves,
 	Or else we lose ourselves to keep our oaths.
 	It is religion to be thus forsworn,
 	For charity itself fulfills the law,
 	And who can sever love from charity?
 FERDINAND	Saint Cupid, then! and, soldiers, to the field!
 BIRON	Advance your standards, and upon them, lords;
 	Pell-mell, down with them! but be first advised,
 	In conflict that you get the sun of them.
 LONGAVILLE	Now to plain-dealing; lay these glozes by:
 	Shall we resolve to woo these girls of France?
 FERDINAND	And win them too: therefore let us devise
 	Some entertainment for them in their tents.
 BIRON	First, from the park let us conduct them thither;
 	Then homeward every man attach the hand
 	Of his fair mistress: in the afternoon
 	We will with some strange pastime solace them,
 	Such as the shortness of the time can shape;
 	For revels, dances, masks and merry hours
 	Forerun fair Love, strewing her way with flowers.
 FERDINAND	Away, away! no time shall be omitted
 	That will betime, and may by us be fitted.
 BIRON	Allons! allons! Sow'd cockle reap'd no corn;
 	And justice always whirls in equal measure:
 	Light wenches may prove plagues to men forsworn;
 	If so, our copper buys no better treasure.
 SCENE I	The same.
 HOLOFERNES	Satis quod sufficit.
 SIR NATHANIEL	I praise God for you, sir: your reasons at dinner
 	have been sharp and sententious; pleasant without
 	scurrility, witty without affection, audacious without
 	impudency, learned without opinion, and strange with-
 	out heresy. I did converse this quondam day with
 	a companion of the king's, who is intituled, nomi-
 	nated, or called, Don Adriano de Armado.
 HOLOFERNES	Novi hominem tanquam te: his humour is lofty, his
 	discourse peremptory, his tongue filed, his eye
 	ambitious, his gait majestical, and his general
 	behavior vain, ridiculous, and thrasonical. He is
 	too picked, too spruce, too affected, too odd, as it
 	were, too peregrinate, as I may call it.
 SIR NATHANIEL	A most singular and choice epithet.
 	[Draws out his table-book]
 HOLOFERNES	He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer
 	than the staple of his argument. I abhor such
 	fanatical phantasimes, such insociable and
 	point-devise companions; such rackers of
 	orthography, as to speak dout, fine, when he should
 	say doubt; det, when he should pronounce debt,--d,
 	e, b, t, not d, e, t: he clepeth a calf, cauf;
 	half, hauf; neighbour vocatur nebor; neigh
 	abbreviated ne. This is abhominable,--which he
 	would call abbominable: it insinuateth me of
 	insanie: anne intelligis, domine? to make frantic, lunatic.
 SIR NATHANIEL	Laus Deo, bene intelligo.
 HOLOFERNES	Bon, bon, fort bon, Priscian! a little scratch'd,
 	'twill serve.
 SIR NATHANIEL	Videsne quis venit?
 HOLOFERNES	Video, et gaudeo.
 	[To MOTH]
 HOLOFERNES	Quare chirrah, not sirrah?
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Men of peace, well encountered.
 HOLOFERNES	Most military sir, salutation.
 MOTH	[Aside to COSTARD]  They have been at a great feast
 	of languages, and stolen the scraps.
 COSTARD	O, they have lived long on the alms-basket of words.
 	I marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a word;
 	for thou art not so long by the head as
 	honorificabilitudinitatibus: thou art easier
 	swallowed than a flap-dragon.
 MOTH	Peace! the peal begins.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	[To HOLOFERNES]  Monsieur, are you not lettered?
 MOTH	Yes, yes; he teaches boys the hornbook. What is a,
 	b, spelt backward, with the horn on his head?
 HOLOFERNES	Ba, pueritia, with a horn added.
 MOTH	Ba, most silly sheep with a horn. You hear his learning.
 HOLOFERNES	Quis, quis, thou consonant?
 MOTH	The third of the five vowels, if you repeat them; or
 	the fifth, if I.
 HOLOFERNES	I will repeat them,--a, e, i,--
 MOTH	The sheep: the other two concludes it,--o, u.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Now, by the salt wave of the Mediterraneum, a sweet
 	touch, a quick venue of wit! snip, snap, quick and
 	home! it rejoiceth my intellect: true wit!
 MOTH	Offered by a child to an old man; which is wit-old.
 HOLOFERNES	What is the figure? what is the figure?
 MOTH	Horns.
 HOLOFERNES	Thou disputest like an infant: go, whip thy gig.
 MOTH	Lend me your horn to make one, and I will whip about
 	your infamy circum circa,--a gig of a cuckold's horn.
 COSTARD	An I had but one penny in the world, thou shouldst
 	have it to buy gingerbread: hold, there is the very
 	remuneration I had of thy master, thou halfpenny
 	purse of wit, thou pigeon-egg of discretion. O, an
 	the heavens were so pleased that thou wert but my
 	bastard, what a joyful father wouldst thou make me!
 	Go to; thou hast it ad dunghill, at the fingers'
 	ends, as they say.
 HOLOFERNES	O, I smell false Latin; dunghill for unguem.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Arts-man, preambulate, we will be singled from the
 	barbarous. Do you not educate youth at the
 	charge-house on the top of the mountain?
 HOLOFERNES	Or mons, the hill.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain.
 HOLOFERNES	I do, sans question.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Sir, it is the king's most sweet pleasure and
 	affection to congratulate the princess at her
 	pavilion in the posteriors of this day, which the
 	rude multitude call the afternoon.
 HOLOFERNES	The posterior of the day, most generous sir, is
 	liable, congruent and measurable for the afternoon:
 	the word is well culled, chose, sweet and apt, I do
 	assure you, sir, I do assure.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Sir, the king is a noble gentleman, and my familiar,
 	I do assure ye, very good friend: for what is
 	inward between us, let it pass. I do beseech thee,
 	remember thy courtesy; I beseech thee, apparel thy
 	head: and among other important and most serious
 	designs, and of great import indeed, too, but let
 	that pass: for I must tell thee, it will please his
 	grace, by the world, sometime to lean upon my poor
 	shoulder, and with his royal finger, thus, dally
 	with my excrement, with my mustachio; but, sweet
 	heart, let that pass. By the world, I recount no
 	fable: some certain special honours it pleaseth his
 	greatness to impart to Armado, a soldier, a man of
 	travel, that hath seen the world; but let that pass.
 	The very all of all is,--but, sweet heart, I do
 	implore secrecy,--that the king would have me
 	present the princess, sweet chuck, with some
 	delightful ostentation, or show, or pageant, or
 	antique, or firework. Now, understanding that the
 	curate and your sweet self are good at such
 	eruptions and sudden breaking out of mirth, as it
 	were, I have acquainted you withal, to the end to
 	crave your assistance.
 HOLOFERNES	Sir, you shall present before her the Nine Worthies.
 	Sir, as concerning some entertainment of time, some
 	show in the posterior of this day, to be rendered by
 	our assistants, at the king's command, and this most
 	gallant, illustrate, and learned gentleman, before
 	the princess; I say none so fit as to present the
 	Nine Worthies.
 SIR NATHANIEL	Where will you find men worthy enough to present them?
 HOLOFERNES	Joshua, yourself; myself and this gallant gentleman,
 	Judas Maccabaeus; this swain, because of his great
 	limb or joint, shall pass Pompey the Great; the
 	page, Hercules,--
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Pardon, sir; error: he is not quantity enough for
 	that Worthy's thumb: he is not so big as the end of his club.
 HOLOFERNES	Shall I have audience? he shall present Hercules in
 	minority: his enter and exit shall be strangling a
 	snake; and I will have an apology for that purpose.
 MOTH	An excellent device! so, if any of the audience
 	hiss, you may cry 'Well done, Hercules! now thou
 	crushest the snake!' that is the way to make an
 	offence gracious, though few have the grace to do it.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	For the rest of the Worthies?--
 HOLOFERNES	I will play three myself.
 MOTH	Thrice-worthy gentleman!
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Shall I tell you a thing?
 HOLOFERNES	We attend.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	We will have, if this fadge not, an antique. I
 	beseech you, follow.
 HOLOFERNES	Via, goodman Dull! thou hast spoken no word all this while.
 DULL	Nor understood none neither, sir.
 HOLOFERNES	Allons! we will employ thee.
 DULL	I'll make one in a dance, or so; or I will play
 	On the tabour to the Worthies, and let them dance the hay.
 HOLOFERNES	Most dull, honest Dull! To our sport, away!
 SCENE II	The same.
 PRINCESS	Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart,
 	If fairings come thus plentifully in:
 	A lady wall'd about with diamonds!
 	Look you what I have from the loving king.
 ROSALINE	Madame, came nothing else along with that?
 PRINCESS	Nothing but this! yes, as much love in rhyme
 	As would be cramm'd up in a sheet of paper,
 	Writ o' both sides the leaf, margent and all,
 	That he was fain to seal on Cupid's name.
 ROSALINE	That was the way to make his godhead wax,
 	For he hath been five thousand years a boy.
 KATHARINE	Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows too.
 ROSALINE	You'll ne'er be friends with him; a' kill'd your sister.
 KATHARINE	He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy;
 	And so she died: had she been light, like you,
 	Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit,
 	She might ha' been a grandam ere she died:
 	And so may you; for a light heart lives long.
 ROSALINE	What's your dark meaning, mouse, of this light word?
 KATHARINE	A light condition in a beauty dark.
 ROSALINE	We need more light to find your meaning out.
 KATHARINE	You'll mar the light by taking it in snuff;
 	Therefore I'll darkly end the argument.
 ROSALINE	Look what you do, you do it still i' the dark.
 KATHARINE	So do not you, for you are a light wench.
 ROSALINE	Indeed I weigh not you, and therefore light.
 KATHARINE	You weigh me not? O, that's you care not for me.
 ROSALINE	Great reason; for 'past cure is still past care.'
 PRINCESS	Well bandied both; a set of wit well play'd.
 	But Rosaline, you have a favour too:
 	Who sent it? and what is it?
 ROSALINE	I would you knew:
 	An if my face were but as fair as yours,
 	My favour were as great; be witness this.
 	Nay, I have verses too, I thank Biron:
 	The numbers true; and, were the numbering too,
 	I were the fairest goddess on the ground:
 	I am compared to twenty thousand fairs.
 	O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter!
 PRINCESS	Any thing like?
 ROSALINE	Much in the letters; nothing in the praise.
 PRINCESS	Beauteous as ink; a good conclusion.
 KATHARINE	Fair as a text B in a copy-book.
 ROSALINE	'Ware pencils, ho! let me not die your debtor,
 	My red dominical, my golden letter:
 	O, that your face were not so full of O's!
 KATHARINE	A pox of that jest! and I beshrew all shrows.
 PRINCESS	But, Katharine, what was sent to you from fair Dumain?
 KATHARINE	Madam, this glove.
 PRINCESS	                  Did he not send you twain?
 KATHARINE	Yes, madam, and moreover
 	Some thousand verses of a faithful lover,
 	A huge translation of hypocrisy,
 	Vilely compiled, profound simplicity.
 MARIA	This and these pearls to me sent Longaville:
 	The letter is too long by half a mile.
 PRINCESS	I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart
 	The chain were longer and the letter short?
 MARIA	Ay, or I would these hands might never part.
 PRINCESS	We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.
 ROSALINE	They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.
 	That same Biron I'll torture ere I go:
 	O that I knew he were but in by the week!
 	How I would make him fawn and beg and seek
 	And wait the season and observe the times
 	And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes
 	And shape his service wholly to my hests
 	And make him proud to make me proud that jests!
 	So perttaunt-like would I o'ersway his state
 	That he should be my fool and I his fate.
 PRINCESS	None are so surely caught, when they are catch'd,
 	As wit turn'd fool: folly, in wisdom hatch'd,
 	Hath wisdom's warrant and the help of school
 	And wit's own grace to grace a learned fool.
 ROSALINE	The blood of youth burns not with such excess
 	As gravity's revolt to wantonness.
 MARIA	Folly in fools bears not so strong a note
 	As foolery in the wise, when wit doth dote;
 	Since all the power thereof it doth apply
 	To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.
 PRINCESS	Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.
 	[Enter BOYET]
 BOYET	O, I am stabb'd with laughter! Where's her grace?
 PRINCESS	Thy news Boyet?
 BOYET	                  Prepare, madam, prepare!
 	Arm, wenches, arm! encounters mounted are
 	Against your peace: Love doth approach disguised,
 	Armed in arguments; you'll be surprised:
 	Muster your wits; stand in your own defence;
 	Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence.
 PRINCESS	Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they
 	That charge their breath against us? say, scout, say.
 BOYET	Under the cool shade of a sycamore
 	I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour;
 	When, lo! to interrupt my purposed rest,
 	Toward that shade I might behold addrest
 	The king and his companions: warily
 	I stole into a neighbour thicket by,
 	And overheard what you shall overhear,
 	That, by and by, disguised they will be here.
 	Their herald is a pretty knavish page,
 	That well by heart hath conn'd his embassage:
 	Action and accent did they teach him there;
 	'Thus must thou speak,' and 'thus thy body bear:'
 	And ever and anon they made a doubt
 	Presence majestical would put him out,
 	'For,' quoth the king, 'an angel shalt thou see;
 	Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.'
 	The boy replied, 'An angel is not evil;
 	I should have fear'd her had she been a devil.'
 	With that, all laugh'd and clapp'd him on the shoulder,
 	Making the bold wag by their praises bolder:
 	One rubb'd his elbow thus, and fleer'd and swore
 	A better speech was never spoke before;
 	Another, with his finger and his thumb,
 	Cried, 'Via! we will do't, come what will come;'
 	The third he caper'd, and cried, 'All goes well;'
 	The fourth turn'd on the toe, and down he fell.
 	With that, they all did tumble on the ground,
 	With such a zealous laughter, so profound,
 	That in this spleen ridiculous appears,
 	To cheque their folly, passion's solemn tears.
 PRINCESS	But what, but what, come they to visit us?
 BOYET	They do, they do: and are apparell'd thus.
 	Like Muscovites or Russians, as I guess.
 	Their purpose is to parle, to court and dance;
 	And every one his love-feat will advance
 	Unto his several mistress, which they'll know
 	By favours several which they did bestow.
 PRINCESS	And will they so? the gallants shall be task'd;
 	For, ladies, we shall every one be mask'd;
 	And not a man of them shall have the grace,
 	Despite of suit, to see a lady's face.
 	Hold, Rosaline, this favour thou shalt wear,
 	And then the king will court thee for his dear;
 	Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine,
 	So shall Biron take me for Rosaline.
 	And change your favours too; so shall your loves
 	Woo contrary, deceived by these removes.
 ROSALINE	Come on, then; wear the favours most in sight.
 KATHARINE	But in this changing what is your intent?
 PRINCESS	The effect of my intent is to cross theirs:
 	They do it but in mocking merriment;
 	And mock for mock is only my intent.
 	Their several counsels they unbosom shall
 	To loves mistook, and so be mock'd withal
 	Upon the next occasion that we meet,
 	With visages displayed, to talk and greet.
 ROSALINE	But shall we dance, if they desire to't?
 PRINCESS	No, to the death, we will not move a foot;
 	Nor to their penn'd speech render we no grace,
 	But while 'tis spoke each turn away her face.
 BOYET	Why, that contempt will kill the speaker's heart,
 	And quite divorce his memory from his part.
 PRINCESS	Therefore I do it; and I make no doubt
 	The rest will ne'er come in, if he be out
 	There's no such sport as sport by sport o'erthrown,
 	To make theirs ours and ours none but our own:
 	So shall we stay, mocking intended game,
 	And they, well mock'd, depart away with shame.
 	[Trumpets sound within]
 BOYET	The trumpet sounds: be mask'd; the maskers come.
 	[The Ladies mask]
 	[Enter Blackamoors with music; MOTH; FERDINAND,
 	BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN, in Russian habits,
 	and masked]
 MOTH	All hail, the richest beauties on the earth!--
 BOYET	Beauties no richer than rich taffeta.
 MOTH	A holy parcel of the fairest dames.
 	[The Ladies turn their backs to him]
 	That ever turn'd their--backs--to mortal views!
 BIRON	[Aside to MOTH]  Their eyes, villain, their eyes!
 MOTH	That ever turn'd their eyes to mortal views!--Out--
 BOYET	True; out indeed.
 MOTH	Out of your favours, heavenly spirits, vouchsafe
 	Not to behold--
 BIRON	[Aside to MOTH]  Once to behold, rogue.
 MOTH	Once to behold with your sun-beamed eyes,
 	--with your sun-beamed eyes--
 BOYET	They will not answer to that epithet;
 	You were best call it 'daughter-beamed eyes.'
 MOTH	They do not mark me, and that brings me out.
 BIRON	Is this your perfectness? be gone, you rogue!
 	[Exit MOTH]
 ROSALINE	What would these strangers? know their minds, Boyet:
 	If they do speak our language, 'tis our will:
 	That some plain man recount their purposes
 	Know what they would.
 BOYET	What would you with the princess?
 BIRON	Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
 ROSALINE	What would they, say they?
 BOYET	Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
 ROSALINE	Why, that they have; and bid them so be gone.
 BOYET	She says, you have it, and you may be gone.
 FERDINAND	Say to her, we have measured many miles
 	To tread a measure with her on this grass.
 BOYET	They say, that they have measured many a mile
 	To tread a measure with you on this grass.
 ROSALINE	It is not so. Ask them how many inches
 	Is in one mile: if they have measured many,
 	The measure then of one is easily told.
 BOYET	If to come hither you have measured miles,
 	And many miles, the princess bids you tell
 	How many inches doth fill up one mile.
 BIRON	Tell her, we measure them by weary steps.
 BOYET	She hears herself.
 ROSALINE	                  How many weary steps,
 	Of many weary miles you have o'ergone,
 	Are number'd in the travel of one mile?
 BIRON	We number nothing that we spend for you:
 	Our duty is so rich, so infinite,
 	That we may do it still without accompt.
 	Vouchsafe to show the sunshine of your face,
 	That we, like savages, may worship it.
 ROSALINE	My face is but a moon, and clouded too.
 FERDINAND	Blessed are clouds, to do as such clouds do!
 	Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to shine,
 	Those clouds removed, upon our watery eyne.
 ROSALINE	O vain petitioner! beg a greater matter;
 	Thou now request'st but moonshine in the water.
 FERDINAND	Then, in our measure do but vouchsafe one change.
 	Thou bid'st me beg: this begging is not strange.
 ROSALINE	Play, music, then! Nay, you must do it soon.
 	[Music plays]
 	Not yet! no dance! Thus change I like the moon.
 FERDINAND	Will you not dance? How come you thus estranged?
 ROSALINE	You took the moon at full, but now she's changed.
 FERDINAND	Yet still she is the moon, and I the man.
 	The music plays; vouchsafe some motion to it.
 ROSALINE	Our ears vouchsafe it.
 FERDINAND	But your legs should do it.
 ROSALINE	Since you are strangers and come here by chance,
 	We'll not be nice: take hands. We will not dance.
 FERDINAND	Why take we hands, then?
 ROSALINE	Only to part friends:
 	Curtsy, sweet hearts; and so the measure ends.
 FERDINAND	More measure of this measure; be not nice.
 ROSALINE	We can afford no more at such a price.
 FERDINAND	Prize you yourselves: what buys your company?
 ROSALINE	Your absence only.
 FERDINAND	                  That can never be.
 ROSALINE	Then cannot we be bought: and so, adieu;
 	Twice to your visor, and half once to you.
 FERDINAND	If you deny to dance, let's hold more chat.
 ROSALINE	In private, then.
 FERDINAND	                  I am best pleased with that.
 	[They converse apart]
 BIRON	White-handed mistress, one sweet word with thee.
 PRINCESS	Honey, and milk, and sugar; there is three.
 BIRON	Nay then, two treys, and if you grow so nice,
 	Metheglin, wort, and malmsey: well run, dice!
 	There's half-a-dozen sweets.
 PRINCESS	Seventh sweet, adieu:
 	Since you can cog, I'll play no more with you.
 BIRON	One word in secret.
 PRINCESS	Let it not be sweet.
 BIRON	Thou grievest my gall.
 PRINCESS	Gall! bitter.
 BIRON	Therefore meet.
 	[They converse apart]
 DUMAIN	Will you vouchsafe with me to change a word?
 MARIA	Name it.
 DUMAIN	       Fair lady,--
 MARIA	Say you so? Fair lord,--
 	Take that for your fair lady.
 DUMAIN	Please it you,
 	As much in private, and I'll bid adieu.
 	[They converse apart]
 KATHARINE	What, was your vizard made without a tongue?
 LONGAVILLE	I know the reason, lady, why you ask.
 KATHARINE	O for your reason! quickly, sir; I long.
 LONGAVILLE	You have a double tongue within your mask,
 	And would afford my speechless vizard half.
 KATHARINE	Veal, quoth the Dutchman. Is not 'veal' a calf?
 LONGAVILLE	A calf, fair lady!
 KATHARINE	                  No, a fair lord calf.
 LONGAVILLE	Let's part the word.
 KATHARINE	No, I'll not be your half
 	Take all, and wean it; it may prove an ox.
 LONGAVILLE	Look, how you butt yourself in these sharp mocks!
 	Will you give horns, chaste lady? do not so.
 KATHARINE	Then die a calf, before your horns do grow.
 LONGAVILLE	One word in private with you, ere I die.
 KATHARINE	Bleat softly then; the butcher hears you cry.
 	[They converse apart]
 BOYET	The tongues of mocking wenches are as keen
 	As is the razor's edge invisible,
 	Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen,
 	Above the sense of sense; so sensible
 	Seemeth their conference; their conceits have wings
 	Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter things.
 ROSALINE	Not one word more, my maids; break off, break off.
 BIRON	By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure scoff!
 FERDINAND	Farewell, mad wenches; you have simple wits.
 PRINCESS	Twenty adieus, my frozen Muscovits.
 	[Exeunt FERDINAND, Lords, and Blackamoors]
 	Are these the breed of wits so wonder'd at?
 BOYET	Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths puff'd out.
 ROSALINE	Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross; fat, fat.
 PRINCESS	O poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout!
 	Will they not, think you, hang themselves tonight?
 	Or ever, but in vizards, show their faces?
 	This pert Biron was out of countenance quite.
 ROSALINE	O, they were all in lamentable cases!
 	The king was weeping-ripe for a good word.
 PRINCESS	Biron did swear himself out of all suit.
 MARIA	Dumain was at my service, and his sword:
 	No point, quoth I; my servant straight was mute.
 KATHARINE	Lord Longaville said, I came o'er his heart;
 	And trow you what he called me?
 PRINCESS	Qualm, perhaps.
 KATHARINE	Yes, in good faith.
 PRINCESS	Go, sickness as thou art!
 ROSALINE	Well, better wits have worn plain statute-caps.
 	But will you hear? the king is my love sworn.
 PRINCESS	And quick Biron hath plighted faith to me.
 KATHARINE	And Longaville was for my service born.
 MARIA	Dumain is mine, as sure as bark on tree.
 BOYET	Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ear:
 	Immediately they will again be here
 	In their own shapes; for it can never be
 	They will digest this harsh indignity.
 PRINCESS	Will they return?
 BOYET	                  They will, they will, God knows,
 	And leap for joy, though they are lame with blows:
 	Therefore change favours; and, when they repair,
 	Blow like sweet roses in this summer air.
 PRINCESS	How blow? how blow? speak to be understood.
 BOYET	Fair ladies mask'd are roses in their bud;
 	Dismask'd, their damask sweet commixture shown,
 	Are angels vailing clouds, or roses blown.
 PRINCESS	Avaunt, perplexity! What shall we do,
 	If they return in their own shapes to woo?
 ROSALINE	Good madam, if by me you'll be advised,
 	Let's, mock them still, as well known as disguised:
 	Let us complain to them what fools were here,
 	Disguised like Muscovites, in shapeless gear;
 	And wonder what they were and to what end
 	Their shallow shows and prologue vilely penn'd
 	And their rough carriage so ridiculous,
 	Should be presented at our tent to us.
 BOYET	Ladies, withdraw: the gallants are at hand.
 PRINCESS	Whip to our tents, as roes run o'er land.
 	in their proper habits]
 FERDINAND	Fair sir, God save you! Where's the princess?
 BOYET	Gone to her tent. Please it your majesty
 	Command me any service to her thither?
 FERDINAND	That she vouchsafe me audience for one word.
 BOYET	I will; and so will she, I know, my lord.
 BIRON	This fellow pecks up wit as pigeons pease,
 	And utters it again when God doth please:
 	He is wit's pedler, and retails his wares
 	At wakes and wassails, meetings, markets, fairs;
 	And we that sell by gross, the Lord doth know,
 	Have not the grace to grace it with such show.
 	This gallant pins the wenches on his sleeve;
 	Had he been Adam, he had tempted Eve;
 	A' can carve too, and lisp: why, this is he
 	That kiss'd his hand away in courtesy;
 	This is the ape of form, monsieur the nice,
 	That, when he plays at tables, chides the dice
 	In honourable terms: nay, he can sing
 	A mean most meanly; and in ushering
 	Mend him who can: the ladies call him sweet;
 	The stairs, as he treads on them, kiss his feet:
 	This is the flower that smiles on every one,
 	To show his teeth as white as whale's bone;
 	And consciences, that will not die in debt,
 	Pay him the due of honey-tongued Boyet.
 FERDINAND	A blister on his sweet tongue, with my heart,
 	That put Armado's page out of his part!
 BIRON	See where it comes! Behavior, what wert thou
 	Till this madman show'd thee? and what art thou now?
 	[Re-enter the PRINCESS, ushered by BOYET, ROSALINE,
 FERDINAND	All hail, sweet madam, and fair time of day!
 PRINCESS	'Fair' in 'all hail' is foul, as I conceive.
 FERDINAND	Construe my speeches better, if you may.
 PRINCESS	Then wish me better; I will give you leave.
 FERDINAND	We came to visit you, and purpose now
 	To lead you to our court; vouchsafe it then.
 PRINCESS	This field shall hold me; and so hold your vow:
 	Nor God, nor I, delights in perjured men.
 FERDINAND	Rebuke me not for that which you provoke:
 	The virtue of your eye must break my oath.
 PRINCESS	You nickname virtue; vice you should have spoke;
 	For virtue's office never breaks men's troth.
 	Now by my maiden honour, yet as pure
 	As the unsullied lily, I protest,
 	A world of torments though I should endure,
 	I would not yield to be your house's guest;
 	So much I hate a breaking cause to be
 	Of heavenly oaths, vow'd with integrity.
 FERDINAND	O, you have lived in desolation here,
 	Unseen, unvisited, much to our shame.
 PRINCESS	Not so, my lord; it is not so, I swear;
 	We have had pastimes here and pleasant game:
 	A mess of Russians left us but of late.
 FERDINAND	How, madam! Russians!
 PRINCESS	Ay, in truth, my lord;
 	Trim gallants, full of courtship and of state.
 ROSALINE	Madam, speak true. It is not so, my lord:
 	My lady, to the manner of the days,
 	In courtesy gives undeserving praise.
 	We four indeed confronted were with four
 	In Russian habit: here they stay'd an hour,
 	And talk'd apace; and in that hour, my lord,
 	They did not bless us with one happy word.
 	I dare not call them fools; but this I think,
 	When they are thirsty, fools would fain have drink.
 BIRON	This jest is dry to me. Fair gentle sweet,
 	Your wit makes wise things foolish: when we greet,
 	With eyes best seeing, heaven's fiery eye,
 	By light we lose light: your capacity
 	Is of that nature that to your huge store
 	Wise things seem foolish and rich things but poor.
 ROSALINE	This proves you wise and rich, for in my eye,--
 BIRON	I am a fool, and full of poverty.
 ROSALINE	But that you take what doth to you belong,
 	It were a fault to snatch words from my tongue.
 BIRON	O, I am yours, and all that I possess!
 ROSALINE	All the fool mine?
 BIRON	                  I cannot give you less.
 ROSALINE	Which of the vizards was it that you wore?
 BIRON	Where? when? what vizard? why demand you this?
 ROSALINE	There, then, that vizard; that superfluous case
 	That hid the worse and show'd the better face.
 FERDINAND	We are descried; they'll mock us now downright.
 DUMAIN	Let us confess and turn it to a jest.
 PRINCESS	Amazed, my lord? why looks your highness sad?
 ROSALINE	Help, hold his brows! he'll swoon! Why look you pale?
 	Sea-sick, I think, coming from Muscovy.
 BIRON	Thus pour the stars down plagues for perjury.
 	Can any face of brass hold longer out?
 	Here stand I	lady, dart thy skill at me;
 	Bruise me with scorn, confound me with a flout;
 	Thrust thy sharp wit quite through my ignorance;
 	Cut me to pieces with thy keen conceit;
 	And I will wish thee never more to dance,
 	Nor never more in Russian habit wait.
 	O, never will I trust to speeches penn'd,
 	Nor to the motion of a schoolboy's tongue,
 	Nor never come in vizard to my friend,
 	Nor woo in rhyme, like a blind harper's song!
 	Taffeta phrases, silken terms precise,
 	Three-piled hyperboles, spruce affectation,
 	Figures pedantical; these summer-flies
 	Have blown me full of maggot ostentation:
 	I do forswear them; and I here protest,
 	By this white glove;--how white the hand, God knows!--
 	Henceforth my wooing mind shall be express'd
 	In russet yeas and honest kersey noes:
 	And, to begin, wench,--so God help me, la!--
 	My love to thee is sound, sans crack or flaw.
 ROSALINE	Sans sans, I pray you.
 BIRON	Yet I have a trick
 	Of the old rage: bear with me, I am sick;
 	I'll leave it by degrees. Soft, let us see:
 	Write, 'Lord have mercy on us' on those three;
 	They are infected; in their hearts it lies;
 	They have the plague, and caught it of your eyes;
 	These lords are visited; you are not free,
 	For the Lord's tokens on you do I see.
 PRINCESS	No, they are free that gave these tokens to us.
 BIRON	Our states are forfeit: seek not to undo us.
 ROSALINE	It is not so; for how can this be true,
 	That you stand forfeit, being those that sue?
 BIRON	Peace! for I will not have to do with you.
 ROSALINE	Nor shall not, if I do as I intend.
 BIRON	Speak for yourselves; my wit is at an end.
 FERDINAND	Teach us, sweet madam, for our rude transgression
 	Some fair excuse.
 PRINCESS	                  The fairest is confession.
 	Were not you here but even now disguised?
 FERDINAND	Madam, I was.
 PRINCESS	                  And were you well advised?
 FERDINAND	I was, fair madam.
 PRINCESS	                  When you then were here,
 	What did you whisper in your lady's ear?
 FERDINAND	That more than all the world I did respect her.
 PRINCESS	When she shall challenge this, you will reject her.
 FERDINAND	Upon mine honour, no.
 PRINCESS	Peace, peace! forbear:
 	Your oath once broke, you force not to forswear.
 FERDINAND	Despise me, when I break this oath of mine.
 PRINCESS	I will: and therefore keep it. Rosaline,
 	What did the Russian whisper in your ear?
 ROSALINE	Madam, he swore that he did hold me dear
 	As precious eyesight, and did value me
 	Above this world; adding thereto moreover
 	That he would wed me, or else die my lover.
 PRINCESS	God give thee joy of him! the noble lord
 	Most honourably doth unhold his word.
 FERDINAND	What mean you, madam? by my life, my troth,
 	I never swore this lady such an oath.
 ROSALINE	By heaven, you did; and to confirm it plain,
 	You gave me this: but take it, sir, again.
 FERDINAND	My faith and this the princess I did give:
 	I knew her by this jewel on her sleeve.
 PRINCESS	Pardon me, sir, this jewel did she wear;
 	And Lord Biron, I thank him, is my dear.
 	What, will you have me, or your pearl again?
 BIRON	Neither of either; I remit both twain.
 	I see the trick on't: here was a consent,
 	Knowing aforehand of our merriment,
 	To dash it like a Christmas comedy:
 	Some carry-tale, some please-man, some slight zany,
 	Some mumble-news, some trencher-knight, some Dick,
 	That smiles his cheek in years and knows the trick
 	To make my lady laugh when she's disposed,
 	Told our intents before; which once disclosed,
 	The ladies did change favours: and then we,
 	Following the signs, woo'd but the sign of she.
 	Now, to our perjury to add more terror,
 	We are again forsworn, in will and error.
 	Much upon this it is: and might not you
 	[To BOYET]
 	Forestall our sport, to make us thus untrue?
 	Do not you know my lady's foot by the squier,
 	And laugh upon the apple of her eye?
 	And stand between her back, sir, and the fire,
 	Holding a trencher, jesting merrily?
 	You put our page out: go, you are allow'd;
 	Die when you will, a smock shall be your shroud.
 	You leer upon me, do you? there's an eye
 	Wounds like a leaden sword.
 BOYET	Full merrily
 	Hath this brave manage, this career, been run.
 BIRON	Lo, he is tilting straight! Peace! I have done.
 	[Enter COSTARD]
 	Welcome, pure wit! thou partest a fair fray.
 COSTARD	O Lord, sir, they would know
 	Whether the three Worthies shall come in or no.
 BIRON	What, are there but three?
 COSTARD	No, sir; but it is vara fine,
 	For every one pursents three.
 BIRON	And three times thrice is nine.
 COSTARD	Not so, sir; under correction, sir; I hope it is not so.
 	You cannot beg us, sir, I can assure you, sir we know
 	what we know:
 	I hope, sir, three times thrice, sir,--
 BIRON	Is not nine.
 COSTARD	Under correction, sir, we know whereuntil it doth amount.
 BIRON	By Jove, I always took three threes for nine.
 COSTARD	O Lord, sir, it were pity you should get your living
 	by reckoning, sir.
 BIRON	How much is it?
 COSTARD	O Lord, sir, the parties themselves, the actors,
 	sir, will show whereuntil it doth amount: for mine
 	own part, I am, as they say, but to parfect one man
 	in one poor man, Pompion the Great, sir.
 BIRON	Art thou one of the Worthies?
 COSTARD	It pleased them to think me worthy of Pompion the
 	Great: for mine own part, I know not the degree of
 	the Worthy, but I am to stand for him.
 BIRON	Go, bid them prepare.
 COSTARD	We will turn it finely off, sir; we will take
 	some care.
 FERDINAND	Biron, they will shame us: let them not approach.
 BIRON	We are shame-proof, my lord: and tis some policy
 	To have one show worse than the king's and his company.
 FERDINAND	I say they shall not come.
 PRINCESS	Nay, my good lord, let me o'errule you now:
 	That sport best pleases that doth least know how:
 	Where zeal strives to content, and the contents
 	Dies in the zeal of that which it presents:
 	Their form confounded makes most form in mirth,
 	When great things labouring perish in their birth.
 BIRON	A right description of our sport, my lord.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Anointed, I implore so much expense of thy royal
 	sweet breath as will utter a brace of words.
 	[Converses apart with FERDINAND, and delivers him a paper]
 PRINCESS	Doth this man serve God?
 BIRON	Why ask you?
 PRINCESS	He speaks not like a man of God's making.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	That is all one, my fair, sweet, honey monarch; for,
 	I protest, the schoolmaster is exceeding
 	fantastical; too, too vain, too too vain: but we
 	will put it, as they say, to fortuna de la guerra.
 	I wish you the peace of mind, most royal couplement!
 FERDINAND	Here is like to be a good presence of Worthies. He
 	presents Hector of Troy; the swain, Pompey the
 	Great; the parish curate, Alexander; Armado's page,
 	Hercules; the pedant, Judas Maccabaeus: And if
 	these four Worthies in their first show thrive,
 	These four will change habits, and present the other five.
 BIRON	There is five in the first show.
 FERDINAND	You are deceived; 'tis not so.
 BIRON	The pedant, the braggart, the hedge-priest, the fool
 	and the boy:--
 	Abate throw at novum, and the whole world again
 	Cannot pick out five such, take each one in his vein.
 FERDINAND	The ship is under sail, and here she comes amain.
 	[Enter COSTARD, for Pompey]
 COSTARD	I Pompey am,--
 BOYET	                  You lie, you are not he.
 COSTARD	I Pompey am,--
 BOYET	                  With libbard's head on knee.
 BIRON	Well said, old mocker: I must needs be friends
 	with thee.
 COSTARD	I Pompey am, Pompey surnamed the Big--
 DUMAIN	The Great.
 COSTARD	It is, 'Great,' sir:--
 		 Pompey surnamed the Great;
 	That oft in field, with targe and shield, did make
 	my foe to sweat:
 	And travelling along this coast, I here am come by chance,
 	And lay my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of France,
 	If your ladyship would say, 'Thanks, Pompey,' I had done.
 PRINCESS	Great thanks, great Pompey.
 COSTARD	'Tis not so much worth; but I hope I was perfect: I
 	made a little fault in 'Great.'
 BIRON	My hat to a halfpenny, Pompey proves the best Worthy.
 	[Enter SIR NATHANIEL, for Alexander]
 SIR NATHANIEL	When in the world I lived, I was the world's
 	By east, west, north, and south, I spread my
 	conquering might:
 	My scutcheon plain declares that I am Alisander,--
 BOYET	Your nose says, no, you are not for it stands too right.
 BIRON	Your nose smells 'no' in this, most tender-smelling knight.
 PRINCESS	The conqueror is dismay'd. Proceed, good Alexander.
 SIR NATHANIEL	When in the world I lived, I was the world's
 BOYET	Most true, 'tis right; you were so, Alisander.
 BIRON	Pompey the Great,--
 COSTARD	Your servant, and Costard.
 BIRON	Take away the conqueror, take away Alisander.
 COSTARD	[To SIR NATHANIEL]  O, sir, you have overthrown
 	Alisander the conqueror! You will be scraped out of
 	the painted cloth for this: your lion, that holds
 	his poll-axe sitting on a close-stool, will be given
 	to Ajax: he will be the ninth Worthy. A conqueror,
 	and afeard to speak! run away for shame, Alisander.
 	[SIR NATHANIEL retires]
 	There, an't shall please you; a foolish mild man; an
 	honest man, look you, and soon dashed. He is a
 	marvellous good neighbour, faith, and a very good
 	bowler: but, for Alisander,--alas, you see how
 	'tis,--a little o'erparted. But there are Worthies
 	a-coming will speak their mind in some other sort.
 	[Enter HOLOFERNES, for Judas; and MOTH, for Hercules]
 HOLOFERNES	   Great Hercules is presented by this imp,
 	Whose club kill'd Cerberus, that three-headed canis;
 	And when he was a babe, a child, a shrimp,
 	Thus did he strangle serpents in his manus.
 	Quoniam he seemeth in minority,
 	Ergo I come with this apology.
 	Keep some state in thy exit, and vanish.
 	[MOTH retires]
 	Judas I am,--
 DUMAIN	A Judas!
 HOLOFERNES	Not Iscariot, sir.
 	Judas I am, ycliped Maccabaeus.
 DUMAIN	Judas Maccabaeus clipt is plain Judas.
 BIRON	A kissing traitor. How art thou proved Judas?
 HOLOFERNES	Judas I am,--
 DUMAIN	The more shame for you, Judas.
 HOLOFERNES	What mean you, sir?
 BOYET	To make Judas hang himself.
 HOLOFERNES	Begin, sir; you are my elder.
 BIRON	Well followed: Judas was hanged on an elder.
 HOLOFERNES	I will not be put out of countenance.
 BIRON	Because thou hast no face.
 HOLOFERNES	What is this?
 BOYET	A cittern-head.
 DUMAIN	The head of a bodkin.
 BIRON	A Death's face in a ring.
 LONGAVILLE	The face of an old Roman coin, scarce seen.
 BOYET	The pommel of Caesar's falchion.
 DUMAIN	The carved-bone face on a flask.
 BIRON	Saint George's half-cheek in a brooch.
 DUMAIN	Ay, and in a brooch of lead.
 BIRON	Ay, and worn in the cap of a tooth-drawer.
 	And now forward; for we have put thee in countenance.
 HOLOFERNES	You have put me out of countenance.
 BIRON	False; we have given thee faces.
 HOLOFERNES	But you have out-faced them all.
 BIRON	An thou wert a lion, we would do so.
 BOYET	Therefore, as he is an ass, let him go.
 	And so adieu, sweet Jude! nay, why dost thou stay?
 DUMAIN	For the latter end of his name.
 BIRON	For the ass to the Jude; give it him:--Jud-as, away!
 HOLOFERNES	This is not generous, not gentle, not humble.
 BOYET	A light for Monsieur Judas! it grows dark, he may stumble.
 	[HOLOFERNES retires]
 PRINCESS	Alas, poor Maccabaeus, how hath he been baited!
 	[Enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO, for Hector]
 BIRON	Hide thy head, Achilles: here comes Hector in arms.
 DUMAIN	Though my mocks come home by me, I will now be merry.
 FERDINAND	Hector was but a Troyan in respect of this.
 BOYET	But is this Hector?
 FERDINAND	I think Hector was not so clean-timbered.
 LONGAVILLE	His leg is too big for Hector's.
 DUMAIN	More calf, certain.
 BOYET	No; he is best endued in the small.
 BIRON	This cannot be Hector.
 DUMAIN	He's a god or a painter; for he makes faces.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,
 	Gave Hector a gift,--
 DUMAIN	A gilt nutmeg.
 BIRON	A lemon.
 LONGAVILLE	Stuck with cloves.
 DUMAIN	No, cloven.
 	The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty
 	Gave Hector a gift, the heir of Ilion;
 	A man so breathed, that certain he would fight; yea
 	From morn till night, out of his pavilion.
 	I am that flower,--
 DUMAIN	That mint.
 LONGAVILLE	That columbine.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Sweet Lord Longaville, rein thy tongue.
 LONGAVILLE	I must rather give it the rein, for it runs against Hector.
 DUMAIN	Ay, and Hector's a greyhound.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	The sweet war-man is dead and rotten; sweet chucks,
 	beat not the bones of the buried: when he breathed,
 	he was a man. But I will forward with my device.
 	[To the PRINCESS]
 	Sweet royalty, bestow on me the sense of hearing.
 PRINCESS	Speak, brave Hector: we are much delighted.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I do adore thy sweet grace's slipper.
 BOYET	[Aside to DUMAIN]  Loves her by the foot,--
 DUMAIN	[Aside to BOYET]  He may not by the yard.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	This Hector far surmounted Hannibal,--
 COSTARD	The party is gone, fellow Hector, she is gone; she
 	is two months on her way.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	What meanest thou?
 COSTARD	Faith, unless you play the honest Troyan, the poor
 	wench is cast away: she's quick; the child brags in
 	her belly already: tis yours.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Dost thou infamonize me among potentates? thou shalt
 COSTARD	Then shall Hector be whipped for Jaquenetta that is
 	quick by him and hanged for Pompey that is dead by
 DUMAIN	Most rare Pompey!
 BOYET	Renowned Pompey!
 BIRON	Greater than great, great, great, great Pompey!
 	Pompey the Huge!
 DUMAIN	Hector trembles.
 BIRON	Pompey is moved. More Ates, more Ates! stir them
 	on! stir them on!
 DUMAIN	Hector will challenge him.
 BIRON	Ay, if a' have no man's blood in's belly than will
 	sup a flea.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	By the north pole, I do challenge thee.
 COSTARD	I will not fight with a pole, like a northern man:
 	I'll slash; I'll do it by the sword. I bepray you,
 	let me borrow my arms again.
 DUMAIN	Room for the incensed Worthies!
 COSTARD	I'll do it in my shirt.
 DUMAIN	Most resolute Pompey!
 MOTH	Master, let me take you a buttonhole lower. Do you
 	not see Pompey is uncasing for the combat? What mean
 	you? You will lose your reputation.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Gentlemen and soldiers, pardon me; I will not combat
 	in my shirt.
 DUMAIN	You may not deny it: Pompey hath made the challenge.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Sweet bloods, I both may and will.
 BIRON	What reason have you for't?
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt; I go
 	woolward for penance.
 BOYET	True, and it was enjoined him in Rome for want of
 	linen: since when, I'll be sworn, he wore none but
 	a dishclout of Jaquenetta's, and that a' wears next
 	his heart for a favour.
 	[Enter MERCADE]
 MERCADE	God save you, madam!
 PRINCESS	Welcome, Mercade;
 	But that thou interrupt'st our merriment.
 MERCADE	I am sorry, madam; for the news I bring
 	Is heavy in my tongue. The king your father--
 PRINCESS	Dead, for my life!
 MERCADE	Even so; my tale is told.
 BIRON	Worthies, away! the scene begins to cloud.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	For mine own part, I breathe free breath. I have
 	seen the day of wrong through the little hole of
 	discretion, and I will right myself like a soldier.
 	[Exeunt Worthies]
 FERDINAND	How fares your majesty?
 PRINCESS	Boyet, prepare; I will away tonight.
 FERDINAND	Madam, not so; I do beseech you, stay.
 PRINCESS	Prepare, I say. I thank you, gracious lords,
 	For all your fair endeavors; and entreat,
 	Out of a new-sad soul, that you vouchsafe
 	In your rich wisdom to excuse or hide
 	The liberal opposition of our spirits,
 	If over-boldly we have borne ourselves
 	In the converse of breath: your gentleness
 	Was guilty of it. Farewell worthy lord!
 	A heavy heart bears not a nimble tongue:
 	Excuse me so, coming too short of thanks
 	For my great suit so easily obtain'd.
 FERDINAND	The extreme parts of time extremely forms
 	All causes to the purpose of his speed,
 	And often at his very loose decides
 	That which long process could not arbitrate:
 	And though the mourning brow of progeny
 	Forbid the smiling courtesy of love
 	The holy suit which fain it would convince,
 	Yet, since love's argument was first on foot,
 	Let not the cloud of sorrow justle it
 	From what it purposed; since, to wail friends lost
 	Is not by much so wholesome-profitable
 	As to rejoice at friends but newly found.
 PRINCESS	I understand you not: my griefs are double.
 BIRON	Honest plain words best pierce the ear of grief;
 	And by these badges understand the king.
 	For your fair sakes have we neglected time,
 	Play'd foul play with our oaths: your beauty, ladies,
 	Hath much deform'd us, fashioning our humours
 	Even to the opposed end of our intents:
 	And what in us hath seem'd ridiculous,--
 	As love is full of unbefitting strains,
 	All wanton as a child, skipping and vain,
 	Form'd by the eye and therefore, like the eye,
 	Full of strange shapes, of habits and of forms,
 	Varying in subjects as the eye doth roll
 	To every varied object in his glance:
 	Which parti-coated presence of loose love
 	Put on by us, if, in your heavenly eyes,
 	Have misbecomed our oaths and gravities,
 	Those heavenly eyes, that look into these faults,
 	Suggested us to make. Therefore, ladies,
 	Our love being yours, the error that love makes
 	Is likewise yours: we to ourselves prove false,
 	By being once false for ever to be true
 	To those that make us both,--fair ladies, you:
 	And even that falsehood, in itself a sin,
 	Thus purifies itself and turns to grace.
 PRINCESS	We have received your letters full of love;
 	Your favours, the ambassadors of love;
 	And, in our maiden council, rated them
 	At courtship, pleasant jest and courtesy,
 	As bombast and as lining to the time:
 	But more devout than this in our respects
 	Have we not been; and therefore met your loves
 	In their own fashion, like a merriment.
 DUMAIN	Our letters, madam, show'd much more than jest.
 LONGAVILLE	So did our looks.
 ROSALINE	                  We did not quote them so.
 FERDINAND	Now, at the latest minute of the hour,
 	Grant us your loves.
 PRINCESS	A time, methinks, too short
 	To make a world-without-end bargain in.
 	No, no, my lord, your grace is perjured much,
 	Full of dear guiltiness; and therefore this:
 	If for my love, as there is no such cause,
 	You will do aught, this shall you do for me:
 	Your oath I will not trust; but go with speed
 	To some forlorn and naked hermitage,
 	Remote from all the pleasures of the world;
 	There stay until the twelve celestial signs
 	Have brought about the annual reckoning.
 	If this austere insociable life
 	Change not your offer made in heat of blood;
 	If frosts and fasts, hard lodging and thin weeds
 	Nip not the gaudy blossoms of your love,
 	But that it bear this trial and last love;
 	Then, at the expiration of the year,
 	Come challenge me, challenge me by these deserts,
 	And, by this virgin palm now kissing thine
 	I will be thine; and till that instant shut
 	My woeful self up in a mourning house,
 	Raining the tears of lamentation
 	For the remembrance of my father's death.
 	If this thou do deny, let our hands part,
 	Neither entitled in the other's heart.
 FERDINAND	If this, or more than this, I would deny,
 	To flatter up these powers of mine with rest,
 	The sudden hand of death close up mine eye!
 	Hence ever then my heart is in thy breast.
 BIRON	[And what to me, my love? and what to me?
 ROSALINE	You must be purged too, your sins are rack'd,
 	You are attaint with faults and perjury:
 	Therefore if you my favour mean to get,
 	A twelvemonth shall you spend, and never rest,
 	But seek the weary beds of people sick]
 DUMAIN	But what to me, my love? but what to me? A wife?
 KATHARINE	A beard, fair health, and honesty;
 	With three-fold love I wish you all these three.
 DUMAIN	O, shall I say, I thank you, gentle wife?
 KATHARINE	Not so, my lord; a twelvemonth and a day
 	I'll mark no words that smooth-faced wooers say:
 	Come when the king doth to my lady come;
 	Then, if I have much love, I'll give you some.
 DUMAIN	I'll serve thee true and faithfully till then.
 KATHARINE	Yet swear not, lest ye be forsworn again.
 LONGAVILLE	What says Maria?
 MARIA	                  At the twelvemonth's end
 	I'll change my black gown for a faithful friend.
 LONGAVILLE	I'll stay with patience; but the time is long.
 MARIA	The liker you; few taller are so young.
 BIRON	Studies my lady? mistress, look on me;
 	Behold the window of my heart, mine eye,
 	What humble suit attends thy answer there:
 	Impose some service on me for thy love.
 ROSALINE	Oft have I heard of you, my Lord Biron,
 	Before I saw you; and the world's large tongue
 	Proclaims you for a man replete with mocks,
 	Full of comparisons and wounding flouts,
 	Which you on all estates will execute
 	That lie within the mercy of your wit.
 	To weed this wormwood from your fruitful brain,
 	And therewithal to win me, if you please,
 	Without the which I am not to be won,
 	You shall this twelvemonth term from day to day
 	Visit the speechless sick and still converse
 	With groaning wretches; and your task shall be,
 	With all the fierce endeavor of your wit
 	To enforce the pained impotent to smile.
 BIRON	To move wild laughter in the throat of death?
 	It cannot be; it is impossible:
 	Mirth cannot move a soul in agony.
 ROSALINE	Why, that's the way to choke a gibing spirit,
 	Whose influence is begot of that loose grace
 	Which shallow laughing hearers give to fools:
 	A jest's prosperity lies in the ear
 	Of him that hears it, never in the tongue
 	Of him that makes it: then, if sickly ears,
 	Deaf'd with the clamours of their own dear groans,
 	Will hear your idle scorns, continue then,
 	And I will have you and that fault withal;
 	But if they will not, throw away that spirit,
 	And I shall find you empty of that fault,
 	Right joyful of your reformation.
 BIRON	A twelvemonth! well; befall what will befall,
 	I'll jest a twelvemonth in an hospital.
 PRINCESS	[To FERDINAND]  Ay, sweet my lord; and so I take my leave.
 FERDINAND	No, madam; we will bring you on your way.
 BIRON	Our wooing doth not end like an old play;
 	Jack hath not Jill: these ladies' courtesy
 	Might well have made our sport a comedy.
 FERDINAND	Come, sir, it wants a twelvemonth and a day,
 	And then 'twill end.
 BIRON	That's too long for a play.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Sweet majesty, vouchsafe me,--
 PRINCESS	Was not that Hector?
 DUMAIN	The worthy knight of Troy.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	I will kiss thy royal finger, and take leave. I am
 	a votary; I have vowed to Jaquenetta to hold the
 	plough for her sweet love three years. But, most
 	esteemed greatness, will you hear the dialogue that
 	the two learned men have compiled in praise of the
 	owl and the cuckoo? It should have followed in the
 	end of our show.
 FERDINAND	Call them forth quickly; we will do so.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	Holla! approach.
 	and others]
 	This side is Hiems, Winter, this Ver, the Spring;
 	the one maintained by the owl, the other by the
 	cuckoo. Ver, begin.
 	When daisies pied and violets blue
 	And lady-smocks all silver-white
 	And cuckoo-buds of yellow hue
 	Do paint the meadows with delight,
 	The cuckoo then, on every tree,
 	Mocks married men; for thus sings he, 	Cuckoo;
 	Cuckoo, cuckoo: O word of fear,
 	Unpleasing to a married ear!
 	When shepherds pipe on oaten straws
 	And merry larks are ploughmen's clocks,
 	When turtles tread, and rooks, and daws,
 	And maidens bleach their summer smocks
 	The cuckoo then, on every tree,
 	Mocks married men; for thus sings he, 	Cuckoo;
 	Cuckoo, cuckoo: O word of fear,
 	Unpleasing to a married ear!
 	When icicles hang by the wall
 	And Dick the shepherd blows his nail
 	And Tom bears logs into the hall
 	And milk comes frozen home in pail,
 	When blood is nipp'd and ways be foul,
 	Then nightly sings the staring owl, 	Tu-whit;
 	Tu-who, a merry note,
 	While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
 	When all aloud the wind doth blow
 	And coughing drowns the parson's saw
 	And birds sit brooding in the snow
 	And Marian's nose looks red and raw,
 	When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,
 	Then nightly sings the staring owl, 	Tu-whit;
 	Tu-who, a merry note,
 	While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
 ADRIANO DE ARMADO	The words of Mercury are harsh after the songs of
 	Apollo. You that way: we this way.

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